Ep 224: Not So Fresh

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“I actually had some stinky pussy my first time and it turned me off to that shit.”

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to force upon you all of our old dying traditions, in hopes that they may keep you trapped in an ancient, unevolved way of life, to hate and to scorn, in sickness, and in death, until the divorce papers are signed, amen. It’s amazing to me the things we choose to hold onto from our past ancestry, and the things that don’t quite make it through the filter. I understand that back in the day it was necessary, and a way to gain power. Back in the day when we were torturing people by disfiguring their genitals with searing hot hooks and rods, crushing their skulls until their eyes popped out, and maiming their limbs until they passed out from the pain, only to revive them just so you can put them out of their misery. The same misery you inflicted on them in the first place for believing in something you did not. Back in the day when marriage meant the joining of two countries in a pact of blood and child birth. Back in the day when if you made it to the ripe old age of 30, you were considered an elder, and wise beyond your years, and the average life expectancy was no more than 18 years. But seriously, why do we cling onto these dead traditions? I’m all about remembering the past so we don’t make the same stupid mistakes, but isn’t that what we’re all doing? It seems to me that now a days, life is just one mistake after another, with no rhyme or reason to why we do it, all we know is that it feels right. How can something so goddamn wrong and destined for failure trick so many people into falling into the jaws of that which will eventually eat us up and shit us out? I guess that’s just another part of being human.

  • Stickman war is the greatest screen saver in the world!
  • Contrary to popular belief, the world is actually NOT doing so well.
  • Why are most of the people in jail here in the Flathead Valley, serving time for sexual crimes and / or incest?
  • Danni’s gay brother joins us for the episode. Find out what a gay seventeen year old does for kicks here in the valley.
  • A bachelor party should never be held at the same place an elderly dance is being held at. I blame poor planning, but we had fun.
  • Danni is a jealous hateful bitch.
  • The reason Mikey is probably not into chicks. Personally, I blame the yeast infection.
  • Danni couldn’t go get her shit fixed because she is a bloody mess. Do you like tampon jokes? I sure do!
  • The Jamhole is proud to bring you our very first contest! Go to thejamhole.com/contest and enter to win a 120 gig Ipod with all the jamhole episodes on it. You can enter as many times as you like, and the more times you enter, the better your chances will be. Entries are $5 each. For all the info, go to the contest page.
  • Everything you ever wanted to know about the goatse guy… And more!
  • The mystery of Michael Jackson’s nose. Where is it? No one knows. See what I did there? Knows… Nevermind.
  • Is Danni’s crazy Chinamerica friend Gary Beck spot on? Obama encourages tighter relations between the communists and the US of A.
  • The singularity is getting closer with each day that passes. We are all fucked, and I couldn’t be happier. HUAR! is where it’s at.
  • Danni has a hard time listening to anything intelligent, so let’s talk about something she can understand.
  • What’s wrong Florida? Why is one of your principals squeezing students toes? You creepy fuck.
  • This is what happens when you hire retards to enforce the law. Communication is key, now what did you learn?
  • Kicking the holy fucking shit out of some scumbag, because he ripped you off five bucks. You know how many dicks I had to suck for that five bucks?
  • We’ve got dogs, live dogs, dead dogs, everything must go! How do you people live like that? I will never understand how it gets that bad.
  • Some more questions for Mikey from the live listeners. Good stuff.