Tag Archives: wedding

TJH 616: Fantasy World

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“Not just anyone can dance with the devil in the pale moonlight, if you know what I mean.”

The leaves are turning and it’s starting to get cold out there again. Welcome back to episode 616 of the Jamhole. We cover a lot of hot topic issues on this show, and I appreciate the people who know enough to keep coming back for more. It’s internet people like you who keep this show going. Sit back and enjoy yourself some Mat Duncan Robby goodness, and while you listen, feel free to follow along with the notes. Fuck yea.

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Ep 225: Old Faithful

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“This is kinda like a dildo.”

Oh come all ye faithful, blindly marching off to war. My life seems like an endless struggle, and as we all know, when too much tension is placed on the rope, eventually the rope snaps. I snap each and every day, sometimes multiple times a day. It’s like my mind is a porn star, and disgust is the orgasm. All day, every day. You would think that in these dire times of economic downturn and turmoil, people would come together and remember the lessons they were taught in the early years of school. Share and share alike, and don’t forget the golden rule. Greed runs rampant in a world where power determines status. Everyone should have pulled out, but the fact of the matter is, we’ve all been sucked in. As seen on tv is the stamp we all wear proudly. Reality television is killing brain cells like the new modern age holocaust chain mail. That’s why sometimes the sane fail. We are all jews simmering in the stew of our own filth and negligence. We all live in sad states, united under one huge flaming false hope that one day we will indeed get our fifteen minutes of fame. Oh come all ye faithful, place your money in the offering baskets as ushers come around to collect your intelligence, only to be replaced by stories of hellfire and brimstone and the empty threat of some fictional character torturing a made up part of something that used to resemble our souls. We are all sugar coated shells of our former selves. Remember the past or your god will damn you. Can you break the cycle of shit stuck on the bottom of your damn shoe? I command you, and before you leave think about the fact that the only reason it’s called faith is because the word lie was already taken, and when you lay down in your bed tonight remember everything you have ever been taught that has to do with religion is a lie. It’s called faith because you can’t prove it, because you can’t back it up with any kind of scientific evidence, because if you call a spade a spade, they would all go to jail for extortion, murder, misleading the blind, and tearing apart the very fabric of society by turning humanity on itself again and again in the name of the father and of the son and of holy shit. Open your eyes and see what the fuck is going on. We have names for organizations that use scare tactics in the name of getting more followers. It’s called a cult. A cult classic, the oldest scam in the book, and I’m ashamed to share genes with the ones that have fallen for it. Open your eyes, if you need something to believe in, believe in yourself, or in humanity that eventually we will once again find our way. We are the future. Evolve a little, for the sake of the greater good. You’ll thank me later.

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Ep 224: Not So Fresh

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“I actually had some stinky pussy my first time and it turned me off to that shit.”

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to force upon you all of our old dying traditions, in hopes that they may keep you trapped in an ancient, unevolved way of life, to hate and to scorn, in sickness, and in death, until the divorce papers are signed, amen. It’s amazing to me the things we choose to hold onto from our past ancestry, and the things that don’t quite make it through the filter. I understand that back in the day it was necessary, and a way to gain power. Back in the day when we were torturing people by disfiguring their genitals with searing hot hooks and rods, crushing their skulls until their eyes popped out, and maiming their limbs until they passed out from the pain, only to revive them just so you can put them out of their misery. The same misery you inflicted on them in the first place for believing in something you did not. Back in the day when marriage meant the joining of two countries in a pact of blood and child birth. Back in the day when if you made it to the ripe old age of 30, you were considered an elder, and wise beyond your years, and the average life expectancy was no more than 18 years. But seriously, why do we cling onto these dead traditions? I’m all about remembering the past so we don’t make the same stupid mistakes, but isn’t that what we’re all doing? It seems to me that now a days, life is just one mistake after another, with no rhyme or reason to why we do it, all we know is that it feels right. How can something so goddamn wrong and destined for failure trick so many people into falling into the jaws of that which will eventually eat us up and shit us out? I guess that’s just another part of being human.

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