Ep 351: Fecal Phobic


“After the two fucking douche bags left, the party happened.”

So I’m going to do the “I’m tired cop out” thing and write about something completely irrelevant silly and unrelated to anyone’s life, yet something that connects a lot of us. Of course I’m talking about Lost ending. That’s right, as I’m writing this, a very legal download of electrons in the forms of a 1 0 binary code are flowing from the internet to a computer under my control. The epic Lost finale has no doubt already aired in most civilized parts of the world, and I’m sure by now, the numbers are starting to come in. I speak of the death toll numbers, the suicide numbers, the murder death kill numbers that are turning into a tidal wave of destruction all due to this one single show, ending so fucking bad. Bad as in bad to the bone Michael Jackson probably touched children bad. Not bad as in super bad or bad dudes bad. This is just another sign that points to the imminent doom and fall of society we all face. It has been written in the ancient prophecy, “A show will appear on television that will captivate the audience’s imagination in complete and utter wonder, but then, when the season finale airs six seasons later, there will be a mass exodus of order and goodness because of how bad it will suck. This will usher in the fall of humanity.” So sayeth the ancient prophecy. Of course, I could be totally wrong, and of course, this is all idle speculation. But I’m telling you what, coming from the lips (or finger tips) of someone who was kind of into Lost when it first started, I’m expecting a “Fuck You” of epic proportions. I stopped watching lost in the fifth season when they started jumping through time and space with the island. I gave it a couple of chances to stop jumping through time and get it’s shit together, but it seemed like the show just stopped giving a fuck. But then, when I heard that season six was going to be the last season, and this was going to finally come to an end somehow, I had to start watching again. Of course I didn’t go back to finish what episodes I may have missed back in season five, but I get what’s going on. So I’ll take one for the team and finish up this series, then we’ll talk about it on the Monday podcast. If there even is a Monday… Be careful out there.

  • What if I yawn right before I “Kaboom?” What if I yawn when I’m up there rapping? Good morning everyone!
  • Shaun aka Lyrickal tries to explain why he sucked at rapping on Thursday. Have you heard of this Karaoke he speaks of? Show of hands, how many of you went to the Soundsoft Winamp School of Dj?
  • Shaun tries to rationalize his court problems. You should just stick to rapping, and maybe stop drinking so much. That’s just my opinion, because I care about you. This is why you should refuse a Breathalyzer.
  • Cmon guys, wasn’t that good? Please beg the audience for more applause, on my behalf. You fucking weirdo. It was a good time overall. I howled with the dog.
  • Hey old dude, that’s a pretty fat wad of one dollar bills you have there. What does “Make it rain” mean? Just forget it…
  • Booty butt booty butt booty butt cheeks! We all feel bad for any lady who has to put on that much makeup just to leave the house, and for any guy who ends up taking her home. Bar lighting is a sneaky bitch.
  • If you have one, you don’t need much of the other.
  • Danni isn’t allowed to get into any fights, until she gets health insurance. Ok Shaun, what did this hoe do to you?
  • Shaun gets busted looking at porn on my computer.
  • So who’s telling you about Shaun’s dick? If you keep putting off your court date, you’ll never have to attend it. Brilliant idea! I’m leaning towards not guilty, but I’m still not completely sure.
  • Could you imagine your court experience involving two inches of inmate fecal matter? It hasn’t happened in quite a while, so we’re pretty thankful. You are getting ripped off on the price of the muffin monster.
  • Hey local radio station, playing shitty music in front of a shitty car lot does not make us want to buy a shitty car. It makes us want to buy ear plugs. Go away. Thank you.
  • The most truthful church sign I’ve ever seen. Thank you god.
  • Happy 30th birthday Pac Man! We are both going to be 30 together, and with dignity. I’m glad you beat me there.
  • Pimpin ain’t easy up in Society Hill, just ask Prince. Who does your hair? That is simply exquisite! This guy HAS to be related to Labrina Brown.
  • Pick a child any child. This is our favorite family game. She ended up killing him. That’s what happens when you torture your wife for 20 years.
  • This is what happens when you neglect family members who have gone over the hill. They found bugs in her where? This is the worse case of elderly abuse they have ever seen. She had bugs in her mouth. That’s nasty. This is why we need some sort of system in place to “take care” of our elderly.
  • Eating the exotic animals you just got done checking out at the zoo. Talk about the complete zoo experience. Deer dick for my gay friend here, and I’ll have the hungry hungry hippo. I would also like the fire ant soup. Extra spicy, and can you biggy size the deer penis for my gay friend. Thank you.
  • Danni draws us a Muhammad for draw Muhammad day. She really is so fucking talented. That’s why I love her so much. You can also send us some cash to the donate page if you enjoy the show, send your post cards to the po box. Leave us a message for the Monday episode at 406.204.4687 or email info@thejamhole.com
  • Check out our sister podcast, all about marijuana. It’s called the Hot Box podcast, and we’ll be recording live every Tuesday.

By Finn

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...

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