Ep 539: Dictionary Day

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“Excuse me, are you calling me stupid?”

What do you guys think of only getting a fresh episode of The Jamhole once a week? Is it starting to wear on your nerves? Are you having post partum like depression symptoms? Have we caused you to relapse? Nah, I’m sure you’re all doing fine just fine. I’m sure you understand why we do this, and all you really have to do in order to get more shows, is to show some appreciation. There are many ways to do that, and we’ve been telling you them all since the beginning of this podcast, so you can go ahead and figure it out. But if you are new and wondering why the show isn’t on schedule anymore, basically, it goes a little something like this. I produce tech related shows over on groovyPost.com. All of the shows in the groovyCast section are produced by me (except for X3), and as you may or may not know, producing podcasts takes much longer than the actual hour or so running length of each episode. So what it comes down to is this. I have a very limited amount of time. Danni and I both work regular jobs, so we have to start shifting focus on things that make money, rather than things that lose money. We won’t ever stop doing the Jamhole or the Hot Box (which you can catch on Friday’s now, 7pm PT. 10pm ET.), but we will have to ease back on episode production. That’s just how it is. Here’s some notes!

– FUCK. Say HIGH! Say fuck. Call us during the live shows and don’t be such a fucking pussy about it. 406.204.4687 is the number, or if you are in the KNOW, you can skype thejamhole.

– Danni hasn’t even touched coke in like forever. Show me on the bear where you touched it.

– Did you know we got nominated for a podcast award in the Mature Category? Yeah, that’s right we did. The Hot Box also got nominated in the News / Politics category. That’s amazing, considering we’re the only marijuana related show in that category. I hope you have all been voting for us each and every day, as well as these shows too! You, and you alone can make this dream come true.

– Are you even saying words? This is what happens when Mat doesn’t get enough sleep. I work too hard.

Today is Dictionary Day! Happy words and dicks days everyone. Very exciting. Don’t say the word droid in my presence for at least the next 72 hours. I breezed through the cm7 install on Danni’s Droid Incredible, thus making it once again, incredible. But then of course, when I tried to update my Droid X, I completely fucking bricked it. HULK SMASH.

– I’m going to be 31 years old soon, and I’m not quite sure what to think about that. At least I don’t have any gray hairs yet, and if I shave, and stop picking my face, I could probably pass for 26. No seriously, I’m turning 46. Want to get me a present? Either send it to the Jamhole PO Box or the Jamhole Donate page.

– Women age differently than men. Is what I was trying to say. Better start digging. Women don’t age very gracefully, unless they replace all their squishy parts with plastic and glue.

– Yea, I’m 25 and I deliver water, wanna go to Hot Springs and get your pussy worked out? Did I mention I’m 25? You should be totally glad you’re with me. Do you hear her jealousy? It’s pretty fucking thick. Right here Danni promises to never get saggy. You are all going to help me, help her keep her word.

– Let’s talk about the white elephant in the room. One out of six cell phones in the UK have the poo poo on them. That’s the poo poo. How’s cleaning your poo poo filled screen by licking it. Did you taste the poo poo? Myth busted. You have poop in your mouth because you can’t stop licking your phone.

Danni is having some seriously bad bowel problems. What’s wrong pretty? According to Danni of the Jamhole, her poop is ripping the shit out of her asshole. She said, “I bleed, so much.” Everyone in the chat agrees that you are starting to look like a heroin junky. What’s up with that? Ready for an intervention? This is a very mature conversation. Award winning even.

– My wiener is squishy, no matter how hard it gets. It will always give. This the Mat and Dana, disgusting show! This is the show I can be ashamed of. Did I mention we’ve been nominated for a podcast award FOUR times in a row?

– Time for some truth. It’s about to get ugly. I personally apologize for this.

– Time for an International Public Service Announcement. 60% of men are coming to the Philippines, NOT for sex. I repeat, 60% of men DID NOT come here for sex… they came here for drugs. DUH. We’re totally doing other stuff here.

– Why did the Catholic church steal a shit load of babies (around 300,000) over five decades? Because they are the Catholic fucking church, that’s why. When you live la vida loca, you don’t age that well. Time isn’t kind to the Hispanic females.

– Why do men and women talk differently? Because we are from Mars, and they are from VENUS. Here is an interesting piece on the difference. Let me give you an example of when I told you to do something. Now suck this cock. You aren’t very good at this game.

– Why can’t you just shut the fuck up, and suck this cock. I don’t even need to hear the choking noise. Some guys do, but personally, I could do without it. Just shut your mouth by wrapping your pretty little well spoken lips around this cock, that just so happens to be the biggest thing you’ve ever fucking had in your pretty little mouth. Thank you.

– Look at this little TINY polar bear. He is most definitely not cool. What is wrong with you people? Look how tiny he is.

– No more words. Don’t be scared, just suck this cock. That’s the anthem this summer. All the bitches and the hoes just SUCK THIS COCK!

– Wait a minute, last night, you raped me. Remember what sex was like?

– Listen to our Android show over on groovyPost.com. It’s called Attack of the Androids. We record on Thursday. The Hot Box is Friday, and the Jamhole is Sunday. See you then! Email info@thejamhole.com and leave a message at 406.204.4687. You can also text my cell if you want at 406.848.1739.

– Also remember, last day for the Podcast Awards. Go vote! Here is a list from the Jamhole forums.