TJH 583: Safety First

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“Why do you want to watch me hang out on Facebook?”

Hello and welcome to episode 583 of the Jamhole free comedy podcast. Once again getting through another week or two of the complete and utter bullshit we call life to bring you life, revisited. Life imitating art imitating bullshit. Things are slowly getting back to normal, no thanks to old “friends” and “flames.” I do have some advice for you all in hindsight. This might be a complete duh moment for some of you, but I feel more enlightened at least. Once someone is out of your life, regardless of whatever minor attachments may be left clinging, keep them out of your life. Whatever the reasons you had for calling it quits are going to probably be far more logical than whatever the stupid reasons you are rationalizing letting them come back in for. Yes, even if you used to do a podcast with them. Yes, even if you used to date. Move on, find something better and start improving your life. It’s not worth it, no matter how minimal the contact. Read some notes and enjoy the show.

Mat and Bunny back in the saddle again. Watch me now, live every episode on Jamhole TV. Remember the phone number? You can always leave a message or call when the show is live at 406.204.4687.

I don’t mean that episode 582 was a trainwreck, it was more what happened after the episode. But that’s between me, my ex girlfriend, my girlfriend and my ex girlfriends boyfriend. I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks. The episode itself was meh. It happens.

If you use Android, or enjoy technology, be sure to check out the three other podcasts I host and produce. We have Yet Another Tech Show, Attack of the Androids, and the Buffer Overflow Show. Not to mention the Hot Box if you are a fan of the cannabis plant.

If you love audience participation as much as we do, check out the new Jamhole Subreddit. This allows you to submit stories for the show or vote on stories I’ve put in there. Be a bigger part of the show, and give us a raging clue!

Huge thanks to Joey from BOS and AotA for sending us more church signs to make fun of. I am a huge fan of these, especially the ones local to Kalispell. How do you rationalize your religion?

Someone stole some seriously expensive perfume. 1.2 million dollars worth to be exact. Because you’re worth it right?

This one was sent in by Berger to the StumbleUpon account, this is why you should always do what a cop tells you… Or wait. Now I’m confused. No matter what happens, you never put hands on a cop, even if he tells you to hit him.

This is how you drunk drive, at least in Indiana. Strap them kids in. Or on, on the hood. Safety first!

This is what we call in the industry, an “Honor Killing.” Whenever you have a Muslim female that gets too Westernized, we must honor kill her. They suffocated their 17 year old daughter because she was a bit too Westernized. Let this be a warning to the rest of you.

Have you ever heard of the Sledge Hammer? If you are an avid porn watcher, you might have. Well, he’s dead. He got tasered by the police. It was hard. They tasered him to death.

GO TO BED! No. Now I’m calling the cops. This is not what 911 is for. Let’s hang out and watch Facebook together. Because I don’t feel like sitting anywhere else. Now drink this.

Stop stealing shit! I am so sick of the ghetto we live in that is the West Side. Stop stealing shit! You have caused a possible future domestic dispute. I guess he should have picked the car up when I gave him the keys. You are NOT getting your money back, because a deal is a deal. Now be a man and stop leaving me messages before I start playing them on the show. We need a super hero here.

The dispute is never domestic when power tools are involved. This is probably par for the course in Oklahoma City.

How many more eyes do we need to lose before we realize that paper clips are nothing to fuck around with. I’m glad Manchester has it figured out.

Eating Sushi off a naked dude or chick just doesn’t sound very appealing to me. Personally I don’t like fish, and I especially don’t like fish smelling vagina. So I put two and two together and decided this place is stupid.

Thanks for listening and we’ll see you next week. Be sure to check out the Jamhole Subreddit, write us a review on iTunes and check us out socially.