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“This was like borderline Clockwork Orange brainwashing.”
Howdy Jamholia! It’s been a minute since our last episode, and a whole lot of shit has transpired in the mean time. Mat Lee here as per usual, joined by the lovely Bunny holding it down for yet another episode of our usually weekly, always free comedy podcast. On tonight’s episode we talk about what happens when that totally awesome prank goes tragically wrong, some final thoughts on my trip to the Ibogaine Clinic in Mexico, some Snuggle Bunny updates, stealing pillow pets, why people should lose their driving privileges at 65, the Heartland Virus, being fat at Disney Land, there’s more than one way to skin a cat, and so much more. Please be sure to subscribe to the podcast and help us spread the word about our shows. There are five of them all together. Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week. Keep reading more for links to articles and some more jokes.
Like I said, this is my second week back after going to Cancun Mexico to visit the Ibogaine Clinic. If you want to hear more about detoxing with Ibogaine or my trip in general and what I went through, check out episode 25 of the Buffer Overflow Show and episode 127 of the Hot Box. Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. If you want to help out a bit more, check out the Jamhole donate page. This was not only mentally and physically draining, but also financially.
I don’t understand how you people live normal lives pooping on the daily. That seems like such a waste of time. If there is one thing I miss about being a junky (besides getting high and sleeping), it’s only having to poop once a week. I don’t know how the fuck you people live life while needing to dump once a day. It seems like such waste. On the bright side, I had a wicked awesome sex dream last night.
In some local news, 44 year old Randy Lee Tenley was dressed up in Ghillie suit trying to scare people into phoning in a Bigfoot sighting. He ended up getting hit by a car then run over by another, and of course, dead. Can you say Darwin Award? I feel worse for the 15 and 17 year old girls who hit the guy.
This is why the elderly should not be allowed to drive. This isn’t the Country Kitchen buffet! 100 year old Preston Carter was driving his powder blue Cadillac. He hit 11 people including nine kids. He says his brakes didn’t work. I’m thinking he forgot which pedal was which. I can’t wait to be old enough to use my age as an excuse for all the fucked up junk I do.
Have you ever heard of Pillow Pets? Danny Ray Wright sure has, and he stole 3,500 of them. You know how much those are worth? Over $80,000. Wow… Sometimes I really hate people.
Let’s get some quick updates from our resident Snuggle Bunny, Bunny. Have you been informed on the amazing healing powers of touch? Just the tip right?
There’s more than one way to skin a cat, especially if you are hungry and need clothes. I like how he treated the cat like the Indians treated buffalo back in the day. He tried to use damn near every part of the kitty. He should have just gotten himself a kitty shaped Pillow Pet. Note the awesome reverse Hitler on his face.
Do you remember Tebowing? Check this shit out! This guy rolls up on a teenager, pushes him off the lawnmower, busts a Tebow, then drives the fuck off. Winner winner chicken dinner. I wish there was footage of the act in progress. Huge thanks to the Internet for allowing such amazing things to spread so quickly.
Talk about going viral! If you live in the heartland, you might want to watch out for the Heartland Virus. This sounds like some bad news bears mixed with the movie Outbreak.
You know you’re a big fat fuck when you come to America and people call you fat. You must be at least this tall to ride this ride, and skinny enough to fit in this box. Can you imagine the people who run the rides at Disney Land actually making this lady hop in a fitted box to make sure she’s small enough to be able to ride the ride. Yes I can.
Do you participate in National Go Topless Day? I would trade Easter, Christmas, and Good Friday for an extra Go Topless Day for sure. Bunny brings up a good point, when you are always topless, no one cares about your titties, no matter how awesome they look. It’s the fact that the titties are always covered up, so when we do finally get to see some titties, all we (men) can do is think about titty fucking the shit out of them and blowing our hot loads all over your awesome titties and faces. Just saying.
This could quite possibly be the perfect job for one lucky Jamholian. Sri Lanka is looking for a new hangman. Do you think you have what it takes to be an executioner? Well, get your ass over there and apply for the job. They have 480 inmates on death row waiting for you to do some noose.
Thanks for listening and we’ll see you next week. Be sure to submit and vote on stories at the Jamhole Subreddit, write us a review on iTunes and check us out socially. You can also leave us a message at 406.204.4687 or text my cell at 406.848.1739. I’m always happy to say hi to our listeners.