TJH 614: Homeless Shelter

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“I love you Internet!”

Welcome back to another fun filled episode of our weekly comedy podcast the Jamhole! We sure have a treat for you on tonight’s show. Robby is back, and so is Jazlin! Do you remember Robby? I think the last time he was on the show it was episode 573, way back in April of 2012. Good times for all. I’m about to head out for some more camping since the boss was nice enough to give me Monday off, so forgive me if I blaze through these notes. The important thing if that you have a fresh funny episode of the Jamhole to listen to. Check the notes.

If I told you guys Robby died, I apologize. He did not die, he just had better things to do than to podcast with us assholes. So yeah, welcome Robby back to the show.

Let’s revisit Puffer’s story about having to knock a dude out. Now let’s put Robby in that same situation. What would you do? Sucker punch. You gotta save face when you’re at the Scoreboard bro. Bags are packed, let’s go.

I had no idea all of my friends have so many fake teeth. Am I the only one that has teeth that are my own?

Time for the Puffer bullshit shit show wrap up. Guess who finally got their child back! That’s right, Puffer won his custody battle. He’s a model parent according to the Tri State court system. $7,000 later and walla, you have your child back. Seems like a small price to pay to get your child back. Personally, if I spent seven grand, I would have some major buyer’s regret.

I had an epiphany while driving around today. What if all this social media poop we add to on a daily basis is just a computer we built to tell us who we are. The answer is 42, now fuck off. If you added up the sum of all your social network information, what would you be? Just another porn addict. How does anyone know who they are?

In this week’s Distracted Driving bit, Puffer shares with us a story about canadian RV campers. Canadians are the best! Robby also has a DD story for us. He was either a witness to some awesome road head, or this girl got kidnapped. You never know.

I like how Puffer blames Obama for all the worlds problems. I think we should blame the last 20 presidents or so, and the people doing the voting. Personally, I blame our parents for making such terrible choices. What happens when you continually choose the lesser of two evils? You get something evil. Duh.

Batfleck

Did you hear we now have a new Batman? His name is Ben Affleck. After the show, I saw this GIF floating around on Google+ so I posted it to the Jamhole community. You need to be a member, so join up! I also really enjoy how this was all over Twitter, yet the Syrian bombings were not really getting the proper attention they probably deserve. But at least we have this awesome animated GIF. #Batfleck

When shit hits the fan, our new plan is to go to Idaho. We’ll have weapons and a doctor, pretty sure that’s all we’ll need. You won’t be sending us to any internment camps. Just ask Robby, he knows how this whole sending people to camps thing ends. His ancestors dealt with that shit.

Not sure why this was in my Google Keep, but it told me we should talk about Cupping. Are you familiar with Cupping?

Everything is more expensive in New York. We live on less than $20,000 a year, yet these inmates cost around $168,000 a year to keep alive. How does that math work? Everyone should have a list of things they would rather do than get butt fucked. I have this all figured out. It involves a large dome and streaming internet. Problem solved and now your prison more than pays for itself.

As a quick follow up, we have a story here about a guy who keeps trying to break into NY jails. He says jail is the only place he’s truly accepted. He said people in jail are nice and made him feel important. All humans want to do is belong. That’s all.

The application deadline for Mars One is August 31st. We better get our applications in soon, you have a few more days. More than 165,000 people have already applied to go on a one way trip to Mars. Is that a testament to our intrinsic need to explore, or a testament to how shitty we’ve made Earth? Check out the Mars One site here.

In dick head DEA news, the Drug Enforcement Administration has ordered all security and armored vehicle companies to stop servicing legal cannabis dispensaries. What’s up with that? How can you pick and choose which legal businesses you will service and which you won’t? Seems shady as fuck. In other marijuana cannabis news, we’re trying to bring the Hot Box back, so stay tuned.

Is it better to be a drug addict, or a Whopper addict? Burger King thinks you should drop that heroin addiction and start popping Whoppers. Just let me have it my way mister King. Thanks.

Three words: Freak Trampoline Accident. I’ve never staked our trampoline before, then again, we don’t have giant gusts of wind here. This wind picked up a nine year old and the trampoline and tossed it 50 yards. They both died. Robby wanted a fucked up story, so here you go. Utah FTW!

In climate change news that Puffer probably won’t believe, the Arctic is losing about 30,000 square miles of sea ice each year. That’s an area roughly equivalent to the state of Maine, if you were wondering. This is why we work at a water store. Duh. Do you remember Water World? One of the better movies to come out of the 90s.

I also make hip hop in my spare time. Make sure to get your copy of The Blame EP and Escape Goats. Find them free here on the music page, or on SoundCloud. But if you want to actually pay for the music, you can donate some cash via Paypal or check them out on Google Play. They are also available to Google Play Music All Access subscribers.

Thank you so much for listening. Please take a minute to write us a review on iTunes, and interact with us during the week on your favorite social network. Join the Jamhole Google+ Community and submit stories for the show! You can also leave us a message at 406.204.4687.