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“Who can be mad at a chick who likes to suck dick all the time.”
I was outside smoking when I saw a bee. Weird I thought to myself, this one must have gotten lost on the way to the hibernation spot. It was a big bee too, and every time it tried to fly, it fell and rolled around on the ground. “Should have listened to your bee leader,” I thought to myself. This bee was probably like, “Yea right, I’ll go underground when I’m good and ready, I still have days of warm fall weather left.” This bee failed to take into consideration global warming messing with our weather cycles, and the fact that the sun is starting its trip back into the solar maximum, and probably the fact that the bee leader stays in full communication with all the other bee leaders, and has access to more information this way, in turn allowing bee leader to make a more informed decision. The lost bee tried to fly off but instead hit the top of the stairs and rolled and flopped all the way down to the ground floor. This made me think the lost bee was the drunk of the hive. Always missing work, plagued with a constant hangover, never reliable enough to hold a job for more than a few weeks at a time. It’s a good thing bee’s don’t have a working system of money, or else this lost bee might be paying child support to multiple single bee mothers, putting a strain on the bee welfare system, causing whole bee colonies and bee economies to crash. Then I thought to myself, “Hmm, they are having bee colony problems.” “Maybe they do have a working system of money, and the bee keepers keep finding these deserted colonies because of lazy drunk bees who keep straining the colony to the point of collapse, then all the bees have to find a new colony to populate until the cycle repeats itself over and over again!” Perhaps the bees tried to mimic the inner workings of human society, and when our economy crashed, so did theirs. Did I just solve the colony collapse problem? I’m not even a licensed bee keeper or scientist or anything. I’m just stoned. Actually, even for a skilled writer such as myself, it gets hard to think of something to write for each episode. I hope you enjoy this. I do it for you.
- Help us welcome to the show, one of the few people left that tolerates Danni still. It’s only because she had a crush on her.
- Oh right, and she’s a huge dyke! Hi Cori!
- Does the third wheel un comfortableness thing work with lesbians too?
- I got an email from Lulu tech support finally… about a week too late. Thanks anyways lulu. I’ve found it helps to end every sentence written to tech support with the word “Idiot.”
- Something bad has to happen in your life in order for you to end up living at the Rosebrier. What happened Cori?
- Being h0meless thanks to your parents doing the best drug in the world. Oooh Meth!
- You can just answer yes or no to the rest of these questions.
- Everyone I run into ended up here in Montana because they are fuck ups. I think my family is the only family that moved here on purpose.
- The term your looking for is Soft Butch. Used in a sentence: Danni is a soft butch.
- Your account has been suspended. Sad face. It’s all fixed now. Happy face.
- Hey, why are the police here at 3 in the morning? I am almost too sneaky for my own good. Did you hear gun shots? I’ve talked to the neighbors, I’ll tell you exactly what happened on Monday’s show. It makes sense the cops were laughing when they walked away.
- One clicks and the other grunts. Can you tell the difference? Danni has some weird dreams.
- Hey god, take me off your spam mailing list please.
- I am responsible for gmails awesome spam filter. I’ve reported all the spam!
- The IRS is also spam mailing me. Leave me alone.
- The H1Nword is spreading! Even the veterans have it now. God is sending me spam and trying to give me the swine flu.
- Is it normal for a dude to get an std test every month? Maybe Josh from Basement boyz has a weird dick hole fetish.
- People are still having abortions, even while other people are still praying that abortion stops. Weird huh?
- I fuck a bunch. Did you know that chlamydia and gonorrhea can grow in the throat? Thanks Shaz!
- Sex questions, and GO! Complete fail.
- Cory is very foreign to Shazam. How do you know for sure if you like boys and girls.
- If I had a vagina, I would own a pawn shop, and you would come in and pawn me things to put in my vagina.
- Somehow, and I have no idea how, but we end up talking about fondling balls. Thanks for that.
- Don’t ever tell me to shut up while I’m reading listener feedback.
- A butt should be paid attention to no matter what. And lots of blowjobs too!
- The cock means oppression. Cory will suck a dick if she has to, she just doesn’t like it. Not as much as she likes eating pussy. I’m glad we learned that!
- Smuggling a knife up your twat hole. That’s making use of what you were given. Now you have to show us your vagina… All the time!
- Starting a riot at the Burlington Coat Factory. She didn’t even throw a chair! She may have been related to Labrina Brown! This may have gotten a little racist.
- Dead babies with blood on the walls for 500. This is what happens when you get that super religious kind of crazy. You named your son Cordon? I make a very classy chicken joke here.
- Broadcasting porn in a school zone, and kicking a cop in the balls. What a crazy bitch. Must have been the drugs.
- Dressing up like the V for Vendetta dude and terrorizing people in your neighborhood. Remember remember the fifth of November.
- Zombieland was a pretty cool movie. Could have had more zombie killings in it, but other than that, very enjoyable. They did address an interesting point in the world of zombies. Just kill stuff, that’s all we want to see.
- A voicemail from the fleshlight kid… He might have the swine flu! Get well soon dude!
- Two minutes with Cory!
