“No wonder you did drugs.”
Hello and welcome to episode 203 of The Jamhole free comedy podcast. Ok, I’m going to be honest with you all for just a moment. I’m glad you’re all sitting down. I firmly believe we are at the crest of the wave form, the very apex of audio interweb evolution where it is time to do something different with the notes. I am going to switch to a more streamlined, in your face and to the point style. As you all may or may not know, I have many styles, some of which are very deadly in both their execution and whoreography. Some are half as simple as they are three to four times the root of the complexity coefficiency constant. Whoreography is like choreography, but with more whores getting involved. Some of my styles are just air plain ugly, and I regret my whole existence each and every time I choose to use them.
Anyways, by now you know we enjoy taking full advantage of the whole web 2.0 look at me and all of the cool stuff I do, and how much better my myspace page is than your facebook page is, or how we have all stumbledupon so many different ways to waste our fucking lives away half of us have already blown our fucking brains out of our skull candy. I’ve seen some fucking shit in my days online, things that will never stop visiting me in my nightmares, waking me up in cold sweat only to go into the cat litter covered dingy linoleum floor of the kitchen to eat another goddamn motherfucking muffin.
So basically here’s the skinny whinnie, if you wanna check out our shit, its all over the side menu located to your right. Most importantly, make sure you are all subscribed to us in Itunes, you’ve written a review telling Itunes how awesome we are and how we should be all up on the front page of their podcast directory next to UYD and SW. Or at the very least, give us the ol behind the back up top down low high five star rating (if you know what I mean). Anyways, fuck, the phone just rang and now I totally forgot what the fuck I was saying. Oh well. That’s right, you should also probably remember that we do the show live, and there is one spot you can see both cameras and the chat. Without even having to have an account anywhere. Everyone praise adobe’s flash gordon. Well I mean if you want to participate in the chat, then you need an account with Ustream, but that’s no problem. Fuck, I have like five of them or something. Also remember that we play voicemails and take live calls if you call while the show is going on. For the last time, that number is 406.204.4687 or skype: thejamhole. Of course, you can always find all of our contact info on the contact us page as well as the about us and live shows page. We have a PO box you can send us pictures you’ve drawn, or letters if you prefer writing to typing.
The bottom line is, if you need to know something about us, it will be on this site. I’m done copy and pasting (if you own an iphone and have a blank look on your face right now, don’t worry about this part) the show notes every other fucking day. We’ve been in this podcast game for a while now, I believe we’ve earned our sticky smelly red wings (if you will). If not I will, so I guess its fine. So that’s it, no more. Look around, or if all else fails, just fucking email me, I’ll be more than happy to share my ever growing infinite warehouse of knowledge and information with you. Don’t be shy, and remember, everything is going to be just fine. Change is good… I would also like to tell you, if you enjoy me talking, you should hear me rap. Go to the jamhole store and donate 10 bucks for your very own copy of “The Book of Matthew.” We have also started a coalition of like minded podcasters called the PGB. I would tell you what that stands for, but I’d rather not offend anyone. Not here at least.
So there you have it. We have stickers and tshirts and hip hop cd’s for now. We also have a pretty cool forums page. Danni has a pretty sweet jamhole necklace, but thats a speical order situation. The last thing is this. Our first live audience show is going to be episode 250. Thats right, I was informed by the oracle that we must do it for episode 250 instead of 300. Something about spartans being totally gay sex and having HIV or something. Details will be on our live shows page, and probably the events page once I make that. I will announce the venue as soon as it’s set in stone, in the next couple of weeks. Just be sure to leave September 25th open for a trip to beautiful Kalispell Montana. Everyone needs an end of summer party bash! And now for the show notes…
- Kalispell is evolving as a civilization by allowing the gays to have their little pride parade.
- Do we do the same thing all the time? Brayden is sick of the monotonous routine that is life in the jamhole. This road again? If the only thing you fuck your entire life happens to be skinny chicks, a fat chick isn’t going to fix things.
- Mondays episode made Mat literally LOL. Danni likes it when she makes herself laugh.
- Mat is actually not crazy or tripping the fuck out. Mat is 100% right. Hey youngsters, lay off the salvia. Full comparison after the show. Thanks for the audio clip Josh from the big mouths podcasts! Also, is it a surprise that Brayden doesn’t listen to Mat. This is why you don’t smoke before the show. Nevermind, it’s bergers fault actually.
- Danni eats disgusting shit when there is no food in the house. Hey Danni, toppings are not a valid food source. Also, fuck wendy’s of kalispell. Now there is food in the house, we both get fat and die.
- Movie remakes: Nightmare on Elm Street without Robert Englund? I’m cool as long as you get that creepy guy from the watchmen movie. Danni watches too much tv, thus explaining her intense high level memory loss. What’s the difference between nerds and nerds? Listen and I’ll tell you. To this day Mat is afraid of Killer Klowns under his bed. Danni is just a child.
- Danni is retarded while on the phone. The lesson is don’t call the police station then give them name and number… Unless you had sex with someone currently serving time in jail… Then it’s ok. Also, do not let people with felonies drive your vehicle.
- Cartoon characters on drugs. This poses the question: If you were a cartoon character, what would be your drug. Think it over and on Fridays show we’ll compare notes.
- Mat’s once a year haircut is lookin super fucking HOT! Its too bad he’s going to get fat from sleep eating.
- First F my life, then do some news. Hey Florida, is everything ok?
- Phone phreaking the oblivious retards. You just did $50,000 worth of damage, over the phone.
- When snapping into a slim jim proves to be fatal. Nothing can contain that much flavor.
- Rape is ok if your teaching a lesson. This is why you lock your doors at night.
- PCP, HIV, and GOD. The Jamhole salutes this guy, he fucked some shit up.
Remember, the most important part of this whole thing is a little something I like to call the triple F. Friends to fuck, Fans to free, Family to form. Without the triple F, we are nothing. With the triple F, we are everything. Spread the word, spread the love, spread the seeds and grow yourself a great day.