Ep 278: Cool Whip

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“Satan outed me as a cock smoking fairy.”

And now I present to you an excerpt from my conversations online with religious people. This is in response to me asking her how she got caught up with the fresh life church movement here. This is word for word in case you were curious. Keep in mind this person is an adult now…

“I see, well it’s funny you ask. Long story short, I as a child chose to believe in Christ. I also slowly began to realise that my mom was completely crazy and was isolated for most of my teen years except for being allowed to attend homeschool choir and church. I’m a musician so I just participated in the youth band…but I was misunderstood there by most everyone so I looked for a different church when I was 18, and eventually went to fresh life a little while before i moved away. I’ve been to the bottum of my existance and back, I’ve looked at my faith as objectively and cynically as possible, nearly leaving it once or twice, and I have found that I can’t just take somebody’s word for how life is, or who God is. It’s a road we all have to take on our own, and if you can find a humble trustworthy person to bounce ideas off of, it helps, but you gotta be able to tell if they’re full of crap or not. I’ve been pretty convinced so far that Levi Lusko of Fresh life is not full of it, so thats really how I was sucked in, and it’s the only church that I really miss. Of course I’m pretty sure I understand what you mean about the children, I was one of them, and I admit I’ve felt brainwashed sometimes. But if you look at those old people churches you might notice how dull and empty they are. I mean who wants to be around crabby old people who sing songs from the 1800’s? not me. And I think it’s really the parents responsibility to not shove anything down thier kids throats… if they do somewhere down the road i think the kids will still realise they have a choice and probably go for the opposite. But i don’t think the church has much control over that except in what they teach. I grew up with plenty of children in church who are now punk rockers, athiests, or whatever because they decided. Well I’ve probably rambled on enough.”

So I reply…

That is troubling to me. You never had a chance, you were the child of christian parents. You think you had a chance, but you never knew any different, and you had the fear put in you at a very early age.  You don’t take somebody’s word for what life is, you figure it out on your own. Saying it’s god is just a cop out to give responsibility to some made up being. Church is all you know, and to step away from that frightens you. The choice shouldn’t be either old people churches or fresh life church, it should be church or no church. All churches boil down to the same basic principles. Just because you are evolving a religion from something dull and boring to something not dull and boring, doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a religion. Different shapes of shit are still shit deep down inside. Kids don’t have a choice when they are indoctrinated from birth by being baptized and being forced to go to church, then asking them after a good 10 to 15 years of that whether or not they believe in god. Of course they do, because they are afraid to death that if they don’t, they will burn eternally in this made up place, that preachers invented to scare you into buying into their fake religion in the first place. It’s a very vicious cycle. I would recommend reading the god delusion or letter to a christian nation if you are into expanding your mind.
mat

“That is troubling to me. You never had a chance, you were the child of christian parents. You think you had a chance, but you never knew any different, and you had the fear put in you at a very early age.  You don’t take somebody’s word for what life is, you figure it out on your own. Saying it’s god is just a cop out to give responsibility to some made up being. Church is all you know, and to step away from that frightens you. The choice shouldn’t be either old people churches or fresh life church, it should be church or no church. All churches boil down to the same basic principles. Just because you are evolving a religion from something dull and boring to something not dull and boring, doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a religion. Different shapes of shit are still shit deep down inside. Kids don’t have a choice when they are indoctrinated from birth by being baptized and being forced to go to church, then asking them after a good 10 to 15 years of that whether or not they believe in god. Of course they do, because they are afraid to death that if they don’t, they will burn eternally in this made up place, that preachers invented to scare you into buying into their fake religion in the first place. It’s a very vicious cycle. I would recommend reading the god delusion or letter to a christian nation if you are into expanding your mind.”

mat

  • Gimme that christian side hug! Hah jeez…
  • Just kidding, we were all kidding about the uring up the twat thing. Or were we?
  • Apparently cool whip is mostly water and air… Oh yea, and condom lube. No wonder it’s so cheap. It’s amazing what a little research can find.
  • One more check off my bucket list, interviewing podcasters I like. One down, one to go. Let’s give Tim Henson from Distorted View Daily a warm welcome… Actually fuck it, you all probably already know who he is. Get us a sideshow subscription please and thank you. We all know screaming dying bunny rabbits are just as funny, if not funnier than dead babies, and cum farts. Just saying… Also, it’s his fault for the messed up call. I cleaned it up the best I could.
  • When you take your dick from granted, everyone loses. When you can’t fuck, fucking is all you think about.
  • Taking the old penis rocket out for a test drive. FINALLY! Also, it’s weird when you pull string out of your dick. Is this hole supposed to be there?
  • Having nocturnal emissions is your body’s way of making sure your dick and nuts don’t explode. It’s a safety mechanism.
  • I should stop arguing with sixteen year old true believers. They are doomed for life. But it is so much fucking fun. I can’t help myself. Fresh life church is making children of the corn. Be afraid.
  • We can do this one of two ways… I like the flatliners way.
  • This is what you have to do in order to stay out of jail. IF you fucked up while already on probation. I think Danni is addicted to other peoples pain. Please get us this awesome pinhole camera. You won’t regret it.
  • Out of all the probation officers here at the KPD, Ashley gets the one that used to be an american gladiator dike. Good luck with that.
  • This is what you will find at an AA / NA meeting. Ask me how I know this. Talking about getting fucked up back in the day, is the last thing I want to hear about when I’m trying to NOT get fucked up. Fuck it, lets all get fucked up.
  • Good luck finding 5 places a day to turn applications into. I would break out the yellow pages.
  • I guess now that you have nothing else to lose, it would be a good time to put your life in god’s hands. It’s not like you were doing anything with it. When that doesn’t work, try the easter bunny next.
  • Put it off until tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes.
  • More proof homeopathy is complete bullshit. Even the people who sell it know it’s bullshit. The only reason they sell it is because all you fucking retards buy it. Keep an eye out for jamhole homeopathic products, coming soon!
  • Here is a link to the intelligence squared debate we were talking about.
  • This is why you don’t put a live twitter feed on a billboard. Best picture ever.
  • This is why all your children are fucking retards. At least they won’t be passing the retard gene on. Ladies and gentlemen, the future of america. This is also why teachers should be paid more.
  • Check out all our cool jamhole stuff. Also, check out the latest ep of earcandy NY. They played a track off my hip hop album, the book of matthew.
  • Pingback: DV Daily: 12/01/09 | Distorted View()

  • TsukiReiko

    “ag·nos·tic (?g-n?s’t?k)
    n.
    One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.

    One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.”
    -The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

    “Ietsism (Dutch Ietsisme – “Somethingism”) is an unspecified belief in some higher force. It is a Dutch language term for a range of beliefs held by people who, on the one hand, inwardly suspect – or indeed believe – that there is “More between Heaven and Earth” than we know about, but on the other hand do not necessarily accept or subscribe to the established belief system, dogma or view of the nature of God offered by any particular religion.”

  • mat

    Thanks for clearing that up. This just goes to show that I should always have a dictionary next to me during the shows. Although, I could have sworn that agnostic meant you believe in something your just not sure what it is, and atheist is that you don’t believe in anything. But then again, I could be wrong.