Ep 517: Guilt Trip

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“When you cut this penny into four pieces, it will feed five poor starving Ethiopian kids.”

Everything sucks and I’m in a rancid mood. Therefore,  I will rant, then smoke some herb, then finish these god damn notes. First of all, the nation is broke and they are trying to raise the debt ceiling so we can be even more broke. I can relate to this, breaking my back 40 hours a week delivering water just to get a paycheck at the end of the two week period that is more than spent before I’m even a week away from getting it. Do you have any fucking idea what that’s like?

If you live in America, there is about a 70% chance you know exactly what this is like, and you are nodding your heads right now fighting back the tears. Of course when you put people in charge of other people, or the majority of other people, and you put faith in those people that they are going to make choices as a whole nation that benefit that said majority. Well, some of these retards forgot a long time ago the golden rule the spiderman movies taught us. Great power? Great responsibility ring a bell? I fucking hate when people quote that shit, but here I am, hating myself, so I figured why the fuck not.

So the government has gotten so corrupt to the point where they are either going to put us in even more debt, or default on every loan to every country we’ve ever owed any kind of significant money to. That means China will take over our forests, the middle east will come take over our deserts (I’m not being racist, they really like living in the desert), or will they? I think we’ve managed to stock pile enough weapons of mass destruction of our own that if any of these countries we owe money to try to come knocking on our door to collect, we’ll most likely put up a fight before any kind of ownership of land transaction takes place. Maybe there is more to this show of force shock and awe than war and peace even begins to let on…

I do enjoy watching this unfold, because I can read my Twitter stream depending on who’s opinions I want to read, and I can check my RSS news feeds, and sometimes, I’ll even see some of the tweets quoted in the newspaper. It’s brilliant when it happens, because at the very same time it takes away credibility from the newspaper, it almost validates the credibility of the people I follow on Twitter. Brilliant! Here’s a quick quote from a story that just came out from the L.A. Times site.

President Obama has said he would veto the bill. “Will the House leadership finally be ready to compromise now?” said White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer in a Twitter post.

I’m glad to see everyone is doing their part. We are so fucked. Nothing will save us now. I’m glad I live in Montana, because as soon as one of these big giant babies gets mad the game isn’t going their way anymore, throws their controller and hits the reset button on this 8-bit nightmare, the holy fucking shit is going to hit the fan, and we are all going to get covered in it. I hope you brought your umbrella. Oh yea, and before I let you move on to the show notes I have one last thing to say… #FuckYouWashington!!!!! Shout out to Jeff Jarvis.

– Do you want the five part marathon thing all at once? Tough shit, because that’s how you got them. They can be found posted as 516.1516.5. It’s cool, I’m doing the notes a week or two after this episode aired. In other news, either donate cash or get ready for ads. That is the only way to keep paying this server bill. So between all of you, come up with 140 bucks each month, or fuck off.

– But honestly, who the fuck looks at ads? Not I, so I wouldn’t expect you to. I don’t need ads, I need Z’s and G’s and P’s.

– Oh and I fixed the RSS feed. I went through all the episodes, all 517 of them, and re added the mp3 to the post. Let me explain to Danni what happened, since she has no fucking clue. Do you have any idea what that was like for me? It fucking sucked… You’re welcome. Also, there is only the latest 250 episodes on the feed, if you want to listen to old episodes, donate some cash and I’ll send you the back catalog on dvd, or just listen from the site.

– If you are a real awesome listener, we have your number. Want mine? It’s 406.848.1739. Text me!

– I really am curious, what is it that makes people not give a shit enough to donate? We put out a lot of content. Now I want you all to be honest. Is it because this content isn’t worth paying for? Or do you like it when we can’t afford to eat? Or does this whole podcast thing just suck. I honestly don’t want to make money, I just want it to pay for itself. Seriously, if shit doesn’t change, I probably won’t be able to afford to keep paying this. I know we all have bills, but we have numbers too, and it only takes a handful of us all pitching in to pay for this thing.

– Televangelist’s use sick and sad people to guilt trip you into giving them money. Maybe that’s the direction this show needs to go. It almost went that way during the marathon. That’s what happens when I leave it up to anyone else other than myself to keep a show going for an hour or something.

– Let’s not kid ourselves, we aren’t going to be famous, so if you are holding on to something you think you can sell on ebay when we die, you might as well burn it now. Fame is over rated anyways, I just want to make enough money to eat and pay these fucking bills. Let’s just hope you all buy this hip hop album Ev-g and I are working on.

– I mean fuck people, Danni wants to threaten the listeners. I’m trying to help you guys here. Trust me, this is going to be the easy way.

– So this pity party goes on for another 30 or 40 minutes. It’s just because it’s the first episode after the failure that was the 24 hour marathon fundraiser. I’m sure most of you expected it. Fuck it, let’s just do some news.

– People are so diluted by what they see on TV, some lady actually tried to kill some other lady because she thought she looked like Casey Anthony. Weird right? I know, I get that all the time. What a fucking weirdo. Hate – 1 , Humanity – 0. You rammed the bitch with your car! Damn.

– As we know, when you have large open places, hookers will eventually use it as their crack den and, or a brothel. What the fuck is up with transvestite hookers now a days? Can’t even afford their own fuck shack.

– According to and unlike Danni… Dayton BLOWS! Hey, why are you DAYTON that bitch? Hahaha, no, but seriously. Click the link and tell me one thing. Could you imagine getting raped by this guy?

– This lady killed her husband as he was trying to guide her awful parking skills. Can you imagine? Sometimes, they just write themselves. Can we at least agree that 91 years of age is just a bit too old to be behind the wheel? Yea, I think we can agree.

– A SUV with passengers takes a flying leap onto a cab. Even after listening back to this, I have absolutely no clue how this kind of shit happens. You have to be drunk and on PCP or some shit to get your SUV to do that. At least they were all ok. Note my awesome Jamaican accent. My sad hindu Jamaican accent.

– Bitch! If you reveal my weird creepy blood sucking fetish when we watch True Blood to anyone, I will fucking KILL YOU. I will suck you dry! Wait a sec…

– Honestly, I’m like three server bills away from pimping this bitch out. Peace out. Want a Dicks Tshirt?

– Have you ever been hit in the face dude? I’m sorry, I don’t have time to fight. But if you fuck with me, I will just straight up kill you. I don’t see the point of fighting. Killing, now that I can understand. We pretty much talk about this for the rest of the show.

– You’re a chick and I have a dick, what’s there to talk about? Haha, this got real, almost too real. I gave up two years about if you really want to think about it. But we still have a good time. I love you. I want enough money just to wander. That’s all. So fuck it. Fake it till you make it. It’s called life. Thank you, and good night.