Tag Archives: religion sucks

Ep 264: Finish Me Off

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“I think I’m feeling some movement in my guts.”

I guess maybe the last time I addressed this, some people may not have read it, or perhaps I used words that were too big for certain people to understand. When you call into a podcast such as The Jamhole, don’t be the asshole that has his (or her) speakers cranked up. If you call in, turn them shits on mute. Also, I understand getting nervous when calling into a show like this, we’ve all done it, hell, I’ve done it. But please make sure you have something in mind to say. Also, if you are going to play a “prank” make sure it’s funny. Pretending like you don’t hear us, then you hear us, then you don’t hear us does not constitute a prank. It just makes you sound like a retard. Also remember this, when you call in, I have your phone number. I’m going to let what happened in this episode slide this one time. You have been warned, but if you do it again, you will feel the full force of exactly how big of an asshole the internet, and our fans, can be. Trust me, that is not something you want to experience. Moving on from this, I have one more thing I would like to address. If you are going to come into a chat room such as ours, talking about how god told you to save us, make legitimate points. Don’t sit there for two hours chasing your own theological tail. It only makes you sound ignorant, and proves my point that much more. That is all I’m going to say about this. We will discuss in more details on Friday’s show. Thank you for listening.

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Ep 225: Old Faithful

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“This is kinda like a dildo.”

Oh come all ye faithful, blindly marching off to war. My life seems like an endless struggle, and as we all know, when too much tension is placed on the rope, eventually the rope snaps. I snap each and every day, sometimes multiple times a day. It’s like my mind is a porn star, and disgust is the orgasm. All day, every day. You would think that in these dire times of economic downturn and turmoil, people would come together and remember the lessons they were taught in the early years of school. Share and share alike, and don’t forget the golden rule. Greed runs rampant in a world where power determines status. Everyone should have pulled out, but the fact of the matter is, we’ve all been sucked in. As seen on tv is the stamp we all wear proudly. Reality television is killing brain cells like the new modern age holocaust chain mail. That’s why sometimes the sane fail. We are all jews simmering in the stew of our own filth and negligence. We all live in sad states, united under one huge flaming false hope that one day we will indeed get our fifteen minutes of fame. Oh come all ye faithful, place your money in the offering baskets as ushers come around to collect your intelligence, only to be replaced by stories of hellfire and brimstone and the empty threat of some fictional character torturing a made up part of something that used to resemble our souls. We are all sugar coated shells of our former selves. Remember the past or your god will damn you. Can you break the cycle of shit stuck on the bottom of your damn shoe? I command you, and before you leave think about the fact that the only reason it’s called faith is because the word lie was already taken, and when you lay down in your bed tonight remember everything you have ever been taught that has to do with religion is a lie. It’s called faith because you can’t prove it, because you can’t back it up with any kind of scientific evidence, because if you call a spade a spade, they would all go to jail for extortion, murder, misleading the blind, and tearing apart the very fabric of society by turning humanity on itself again and again in the name of the father and of the son and of holy shit. Open your eyes and see what the fuck is going on. We have names for organizations that use scare tactics in the name of getting more followers. It’s called a cult. A cult classic, the oldest scam in the book, and I’m ashamed to share genes with the ones that have fallen for it. Open your eyes, if you need something to believe in, believe in yourself, or in humanity that eventually we will once again find our way. We are the future. Evolve a little, for the sake of the greater good. You’ll thank me later.

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