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Ep 546: John Pike

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“Oh my god, a buck eighty eight for towels!”

John Pike

This feels like a good funny episode. It’s been a while, but I know you’re all going to appreciate this. We really tackle the hard hitting issues in this episode. With these issues, you’re gonna need some tissues. That’s Lyrickal. Since it’s Thanksgiving, or close to, I wrote a little something to help vent the hot air out of the holiday season. And I read on after the break…

Before you all go stuffing your fat faces and giving fake thanks for a day we’re told to celebrate because that’s what the government says to do, read a People’s history of the United States, then tell me what you really have to be thankful for. If you can actually read that book, you will have a whole new outlook on our “holidays.” What a fucking joke. Thanksgiving should be strictly about spending time with family and appreciating what it is you have. The whole scam about the pilgrims and the Indians is a farce, a sample of how history is written by the victors. People should really open their eyes.

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Ep 245: Neosemen

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“You know that cum heals everything right?”

There are many things in life and the reality the media and those in control have created for us that I could really give a fuck less about. A couple of those things are starting up again, as they are seasonal annoyances. The VMA’s being one of them, and football season being another. We discuss quite a few things in tonight’s episode, I just wanted to reiterate how stupid I think this is. I know that somehow, a lot of you think football is such a great sport, passed down to man from the gods themselves. But seriously, you all act like you play the sport yourself, which you do not. You don’t play shit, unless of course you count that stupid fantasy football shit, which only counts in as much as dungeons and dragons counts you being a real dragon slayer. There is absolutely nothing in your life that you do that has any effect, negative or positive, on any football team, past, present, or future. Unless of course, you take all that fantasy money you won playing fantasy football, and you buy yourself a real football team.

For a bunch of adults that have adult jobs and adult responsibilities like raising kids and paying bills, you all act like uneducated cattle. Just because maybe once upon a time you had a dream drilled into your still young, malleable brains, that one day you were going to grow up big and strong and play pro ball, and maybe, instead, grew up lazy and fat and your father watched those dreams of his crumble before his very own eyes like so many cookie crumbs on your shirt, so now you get a raging hard on whenever you see the NFL on television, or hear anyone speak of football, and to this day you still have no idea why. Sure, when I was a kid my friends and I used to play football at recess, and sure, it was a great time. But let me say that again. WHEN I WAS A KID. So basically, if you know me in real life, please refrain from bringing up things like football, and I’ll refrain from giving you my “I honestly don’t give a fuck about anything coming out of your mouth right now” face. Trust me, it’s for the best.

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