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“I can’t strip to this.”
There’s something wrong with the world today, I don’t know what it is. Oh wait a minute, yes I do. I have a long list of shit that seriously needs to stop happening before we can continue to evolve as a society, as a species, and as individual human beings. First and foremost, this under age teen pregnancy shit has got to stop. There is nothing fun about having kids, unless you consider wrecking the holy fuck out of your twat / stomach / sex life / life in general, fun. Or spending over $10,000 in the first year alone, or waking up at all hours of the night to a screaming pile of tears, piss and shit fun. I don’t know what your definition of fun is, but that is not mine. I honestly don’t see the appeal of having to deal with something like that for the next 18 to 30 years of my life. No thanks. Honestly, I don’t think you could pay me enough money to deal with that type of shit. Plus, have you seen how many people we have managed to pack onto this little planet of ours? We are almost at seven BILLION people! That is completely fucking ridiculous and unacceptable. We have gotten lazy, fat, apathetic, and pathetic as a culture, and the more time goes by, the more we are showing signs of these sad physical and mental problems. Every day I’m out in the thick of it, dealing with these fucking retards, and I see that look of self entitlement on the faces of damn near every person I pass by, and it makes me want to punch them right in their stolid smug faces. Perhaps it’s more blatant up here in the Flathead Valley because there is such a strong, blind religious following. These people love to breed uncontrollably, are against abortion, are the biggest self righteous hypocrites you’ll ever cross paths with, and above all else, place the blame for their fucked up lives not on themselves, but on their made up invisible friends. If life is good, then it’s god making it good and answering their prayers. If life is shit, then it’s satan fucking with them. I love this valley a lot. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever lived, but the people here leave much to be desired, both on an intellectual level, and on a nice human being level. Tune in next episode as we continue to go through the list of why shit is all fucked up. This is chapter one.
- Danni is getting really good at this whole blow job thing.
- Which leads us to the worst case of Coitus interruptus I’ve ever experienced in my life.
- Do you know how to fix this car? Not at all, but I know how to pop the hood!
- Guess who’s gay brother might have gotten a girl knocked the fuck up? DING! You can’t knock an asshole up right? It’s ok, he’s still learning.
- Rape or not, abortion is the only way to go!
- We finally found the guy who falls for all the ridiculous spam scams we all get. Check the episode of Intervention featuring Greg. The weird thing is, he kind of reminds me of my dad. Not the whole losing $600,000 on Nigerians, but the whole nodding out at your keyboard thing because your high as fuck on pain pills.
- SyFy does good with Alice. I hate that they changed their name to SyFy. It’s just silly.
- Fuck you Jon Garvin from the Missoula Skeptical Society. Don’t be a douche. For those of you who joined that facebook group when I did, you should leave it. We will start our own, and their group can go back to being dead.
- Danni was jerkin off these live show jerk offs all episode. We get the most live viewers when Danni has titties hanging out with us. Good stuff! That’s why you should watch the live shows with us at thejamhole.com/live
- Hey Nestle, step up your game and make your butterfingers all soft. I swear if I bite into one more hard butterfinger, I’m going to write you a nasty letter.
- Have you ever seen your dick run up your asshole because the water in the shower got really cold really quick? It fucking sucks, let me tell you.
- I am holding Reeses peanut butter puffs cereal personally responsible for turning the children of america into a bunch of stupid wigger faggots that think they can rap. Stop encouraging this kind of behavior. And by the way, you ripped off the internets how to pick a porn name, and now your telling kids that’s how to pick their dj names. Just stop it.
- Good job Gabe, you managed to find a bitch more crazy and jelous than Danni. Sucks to be you. So we still haven’t gotten an apology from Heather, so here’s his myspace, here is her myspace, and this is her facebook. You can still give her a call at 941.914.0502. Apologize or this will never end.
- Anyways, have you ever wanted to rip a baby out of another woman’s womb? This lady did! By the by, why is the homeless woman pregnant? That isn’t right.
- Who likes stories about squalor? We all do! What the fuck is wrong with you. Keeping your son and daughter in the most disgusting living conditions ever!
- Michael, you cannot have this child. It will ruin your life, and her life, and the child’s life. If you need help getting her an abortion, we’ll do it. Fuck it, we’ll do it live!
- A chemistry experiment gone horribly wrong. Was that exploding gum I just put in my mouth? Awesome!
- This is how rumors get started. If Jon Garvin googles his name, like I think he might do, HI FAG! Shouldn’t have been such a prick.
- Having a fling with the guy who threw acid on this chicks face. Now she’s ugly as fuck, and the warden is getting fucked by him. Is that weird having a chick warden? Not unless it’s alice from superjail!
- You know where all our stuff is, we’ll see you Friday!
