Ep 286: Baby Shit Myself

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“I just gave birth to the newest cat toy.”

It’s very late on a Sunday night, so I’m going to keep this brief. We watched the movie Avatar today, and I have to say, this being my first 3D movie, I was very blown away by how beautiful it looked. Then again, if I spent around five hundred million dollars making a movie, I would hope that it looked amazing. I’m talking nothing short of the second coming of jesus fucking christ mind blowing here. In all honesty, it would have been nice to see an original idea, but who are we kidding anymore? We are to the point where we have pretty well exhausted all ideas ever. Unless you are sitting around doing massive amounts of DMT or mushrooms, or LSD, chances are, you aren’t going to come up with anything original. It is cool to see modern age takes on old ideas, especially with how far we’ve come with our technology. I was kind of pist that we had to sit in the second row back from the front, especially once the front row started to fill up with swine flu coughing, screaming, talking, annoying, smelly fucking kids. Oh well, you can’t win them all. If you could, life wouldn’t be near as fun or interesting. I have to say, in closing, a friend of mine on twitter had it right when he said it’s just a bunch of over grown smurfs. Minus the mushroom houses, and the stupid white hats. Plus, the female blue monkeys were really fucking hot. Was I the only one in the theater who kept trying to catch a glimpse of their blue titties and vaginal area? Of course not. You know you all were looking.

  • Of course, that huge homo pussy nick starr didn’t kill himself. Maybe I should get him a gun for xmas. No body likes you, and you really suck bad at the internet. Just give up please.
  • We have finally found the greatest FAQ ever collected about god on the internet. EVER! Send him an email and tell him the jamhole says hi!
  • Don’t come into our chat room and call my girl ugly. You know how that fucks with a girl. As funny as it was.
  • Do any of you recall what Danni’s job title is? I seem to have forgotten. I know it had something to do with dishes.
  • If you want hours, you don’t really get to pick and choose which ones you get. Then again, the jamhole is more important than washing dishes at a bar.
  • Hey Florida, get ready for the Jamhole. We are in the planning stages of doing a live show somewhere near Sarasota in August or September 2010. Fuck yea, our most fucked up podcast invades our most fucked up state.
  • You have a teaching degree, maybe you should use it. It’s sad that being a teacher doesn’t pay shit these days. The compensation is in the smiling faces.
  • Moore’s law is a beautiful thing. Dementia on the other hand, is not. Bring on the surrogates!
  • The most bizarre medical discoveries in 2009… In Australia I guess. It was really just an excuse to bring out the accent.
  • Pour out some liquor for danni’s dad. I mean, not right now, but if he has lung cancer, pretty soon. This is going to be a freaking trainwreck. Are you ready for this?
  • Danni, have you met my good friend, Reality?
  • I need some more cry. Best drug ever!
  • Can you call up a porn shop and do a trade in?
  • Impaled on a fence through your twat for forty minutes while waiting for the ambulance. What a great day.
  • The greatest victory lap in jamhole history. You should probably watch the live show for this.
  • You gave birth to the worse baby ever. Little baby wet myself doll. Nice job!
  • I don’t know if you guys know this or not, but I do cocaine.
  • This is how you shut your bitch wife the fuck up. If you have a medical condition like this, don’t be a cunt. #hashtag What have I done? I think I killed my bitch wife. Oops!
  • If you are wrongly jailed in our most fucked up state, you could make ALOT of money. In other news, Danni is a racist. Is $50,000 a year worth it? He was there for 35 years. That’s a long fucking time.
  • A huge thanks to everyone who was kicking it with us for the first jamhole rediscovery on Saturday night. We went through episodes 1 through 3. It was a blast. The next rediscovery will be Saturday. We will do episodes 4 through 6. There is a post in the forums for more information.