TJH 601: Work the Math

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“Take your dentures out.”

Not quite as amazing as episode 600 in title, but more so in content. This is episode 601 of the Jamhole. Thanks for checking out our weekly “comedy” show. Mat Lee here with Duncan Puffer talking stupid shit about stupid shit. It’s 4/19, do you have a minute? I’m sure everyone is going to have a fun 420, except for the fact that it completely rained and snowed on us for ours here in the northwest. That’s how it goes right. Could have been worse, we could have been in Denver at the pot rally people starting shooting at. We talk about that on a new episode of the Hot Box. Anyway, this is the Jamhole, and here are some notes.

Starting off episode 601 in true Jamhole shit show form. Dogs barking, people being excited, knocking shit around everywhere. You should wear headphones for the beginning of the show to get all of the subtle goodness.

I wish I could get that excited for seeing someone. As excited as this fucking dog gets. I don’t think I get all that excited to see another human being. Not anymore at least.

Happy 420, this is our day to smoke all our weed, so that on Monday everyone will be out of weed, because we’re all broke ass bitches.

Yes, I know when my ex’s birthday is, because it’s 419, I don’t remember my current girlfriend’s birthday, because it’s not 419 or 420. I guess that’s my fault you don’t have a birthday that’s not very memorable.

Can I ask, since it’s 419, can you please take the pet hair out of the sacks you hook up? Just do us all a solid, if you sell weed, de-hair it. Thanks!

MDS brings up this interesting story about the Oxycontin patent expiring. I guess we are the people to ask about this, sort of. Or at least we used to be. As with most things, just blame the feds.

Locally, I’ve noticed the panhandlers getting talked to by the police today. Maybe it’s because of what happened in Boston, or maybe it’s just about time the cops started cleaning up these hotbeds of begging for change.

Stop trying to figure out your smartphone while you’re driving. That’s even worse than texting and driving. Work when you get to work. It’s not safe. If Puffer has to tell you this, you should probably listen to him.

Work is hard when you do manual labor. Is this really considered manual labor? It’s honestly a pretty awesome job if you compare it to the alternative.

Let’s see how many of these stories Duncan can relate to. I’m sure this is going to be a good idea. Story 1 is about tossing some roadkill into a bar that wouldn’t serve you and your underage friend.

Push that whip through the intersection, right into the scrapyard. Easier said than done apparently.

How would you smuggle drugs? The more I read this, the more I’m pretty sure we already talked about this shit on a previous episode. Hey Puffer, have you ever been a mule?

Speaking of smuggling drugs, check out the new book by Mary Roach. It’s called Gulp.

I don’t know why, but this just doesn’t seem like a good idea. Don’t open up a whore house in a country where men are all rape happy and shit. You need to protect your business assets, if you know what I mean.

If we were famous, we would definitely die at the ripe old age of 49. Check out this study that says you might actually pay a price for fame… With your LIFE!

When you burn 800 pounds of obese human, it’s going to create a large amount of smoke. I guess there’s just not anything you can really do about that. Does anyone smell bacon?

If you are going to shoot yourself in the face, take your dentures out.

My new job is going to be a pet psychic. You can pay me so much money and I will tell you what you need to hear about your stupid pet, or you can buy Puffer’s end of the world survival gear.

Let’s do some Fuck My Life and get the fuck out of here. Thanks for listening, peep the links below.

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