Tag Archives: babysitting

Ep 276: Climate Change

Play

“I know you weren’t gay, I was just hoping you were bi.”

Another holiday skewed by the time that has passed. Of course it sounds nice to tell your children that the pilgrims and the Indians sat down and shared a feast together, that is not what really happened. The real story of thanksgiving is filled with greed and bloodshed. It has even been touted as the most terrifying bloodshed in new world history. When the pilgrims came to the new world from england, they were very unprepared and had to rely heavily on handouts from the generous Indians. The Indians weren’t even invited by the pilgrims to the meal. The pilgrims invited the Indian leader, whose name was Massasoit, and he in turned invited around ninety other Indians, which the pilgrims were not pleased about. The pilgrims indulged in their brew, which they preferred to drink even more than water. This daily inebriation led their governor, William Bradford, to comment on his peoples notorious sin, which included rampant sodomy. The pilgrims got drunk and fucked things in the ass. Happy Thanksgiving!

(Excerpt from this site)
Just days before the alleged Thanksgiving love-fest, a company of Pilgrims led by Myles Standish actively sought to chop off the head of a local chief. They deliberately caused a rivalry between two friendly Indians, pitting one against the other in an attempt to obtain “better intelligence and make them both more diligent.” An 11-foot-high wall was erected around the entire settlement for the purpose of keeping the Indians out. Any Indian who came within the vicinity of the Pilgrim settlement was subject to robbery, enslavement, or even murder. The Pilgrims further advertised their evil intentions and white racial hostility, when they mounted five cannons on a hill around their settlement, constructed a platform for artillery, and then organized their soldiers into four companies-all in preparation for the military destruction of their friends the Indians. Pilgrim Myles Standish eventually got his bloody prize. He went to the Indians, pretended to be a trader, then beheaded an Indian man named Wituwamat. He brought the head to Plymouth, where it was displayed on a wooden spike for many years, according to Gary B. Nash, “as a symbol of white power.” Standish had the Indian man’s young brother hanged from the rafters for good measure. From that time on, the whites were known to the Indians of Massachusetts by the name “Wotowquenange,” which in their tongue meant cutthroats and stabbers. To read more about the real thanksgiving, check out this site. I really think people need to know what they are celebrating. Just like Columbus day.

Read more »

Ep 256: Gangsterism

Play

“Just put it in your fucking mouth so we can do this and go to sleep.”

The news is dead it seems, the people writing it are all dead, the people reading it are all dead. I’m dead as I type this to you right now, and you are dead reading it. What a sad emo world. Did you hear, people are calling windows 7 slower than vista? Everyone said xp was the shit, fuck vista. Then they said windows 7 would be the shit, fuck vista, now they say vista is the shit as long as all your shit is updated when you use it, and fuck everything else. This is why we’re all dead. The preachers are going to bring us that old time religion. You know, that same old time religion we tried to get away from back in the day when we first came to america. This is why we’re all dead. Every country in the world hates the united states, including canada probably, but somehow we get to be the boss of everyone. I like how we can have nuclear bombs but only us, and if anyone else has them that we don’t like, we’ll take them away. This is why we’re all dead. Speaking of the country, we owe about a babillion dollars to most of the other countries that hate us, so they develop their nuclear bombs on the down low, hoping the united states won’t find out. This is why we’re all dead. So keep on listening to podcasts, and watching television, and listening to the radio, and reading magazines, because hopefully someone on one of these shows will tell you all what to do when the shit hits the fan.

Thinking back now, I am kind of glad we’re so overpopulated. It will make the majority of the people good targets, taking the shots while the rest of us smarter less obese people will have time to get our shit together and get the fuck out. This is why we’re all dead. Greed has been allowed to run rampant within the walls of the united states, completely fucking up the equilibrium we started out with. We have whole industries dedicated to making a profit off of people who have lost all hope. Some of that profit is even tax free. This is why we’re all dead. We lock up countless people in jail because they smoke a harmless plant, yet the officials of our cities are racking up DUI points like it’s a game, potentially killing people every time they go out and celebrate. This is why we’re all dead. Enjoy your life while you have it and are still able to enjoy it. Make it out to your favorite podcast meetups, support your local live shows, communicate and interact. Make as many friends as you can, because one day, this way of life we have all become so painstakingly accustomed to, is going to explode, leaving in its wake a chance for people to rise up and start things over the right way. Oh and by the way, vaccinate your kids, or home school them. I don’t want the inconvenience of wearing a hazmat suit every time I want to go outside because you were all too stupid to keep your children vaccinated, and now we have a world full of disease out there. Just because your religion flourished during the dark ages, doesn’t mean you have to take us all back there. Thank you.

Read more »