Ep 548: Thank You Jake


“Who’s fucking sheep in Kalispell?”

What an episode that was. We apologize for the shitty levels. That’s Jake’s bad. It’s always fun having the drunks over to the studio, especially when they clean up after themselves. Now if we could only get them to speak into the microphone. It’s almost that time of year again, where people ask for a ton of shit no one in their family can afford, then pretend to be completely satisfied when all they get are socks and underwear. That’s why I don’t wear underwear. You can’t get me something for christmas that I don’t wear. I’ve cracked that code. So people have been asking me what I want for Christmas. Is world peace out of the question? I want John Pike to get pepper sprayed in the face for three hours straight while listening to Christmas music blaring on repeat. That’s what I want.

If I can’t have that, I suppose I’ll have to settle for the Galaxy Nexus, a eee Transformer Prime, and a game cube. I know, you’re asking yourself what the fuck I would ever want with a Gamecube, but hoestly, I loved that thing. Besides the Super Nintendo, the Gamecube was one of my favorite consoles. I never got into the Xbox or Playstation 3 movement. I did however, have the original Xbox when it first came out. I actually won one of the systems Taco Bell gave away way back when. I also had an original Playstation, but only for playing Final Fantasty and Forsaken. Ah, the good old days. Anyways, if you want to get me something cool for Christmas, you can always send cash or cards, to the Jamhole donate page, or to the Jamhole P.O. Box. We also have a few wishlists, so feel free to pick something cool from there, or find something that I haven’t put on the wish lists yet. It’s been a while since I updated them. We have an Amazon wish list, a Think Geek wish list and one from B&H Photo Video, and a New Egg wish list. You give me stuff, and I’ll give you show notes.

– Let’s welcome Shaun Lyrickal Cubberly, Andrew Jacob “The Mad Rapist” Jarvis, and Jake’s boy Daulton, to the Jamhole. We’re 548 episodes into this damn adventure, and it’s only getting better. Ok, maybe not, but it’s still there.

– Lyrickal and I worked on some more hip hop this evening. It was time well spent, and I feel much better about this run through than I did the first time. Tonight’s show is brought to you by Evan Williams 50% alcohol by volume 100 proof straight whiskey blend. It’s a white trash sort of night. Speaking of white trash, Daulton, you’re from Eureka Montana right?

– Is it really true that people fuck sheep in Montana? In Kalispell fucking Montana? Jake seems to really think that shit goes on each and every night here. Maybe I’m just hanging out with the wrong crowd. I also heard people in Idaho fuck sheep.

– Do you have any thoughts about fucking sheep? Give us a call and we’ll play your voicemail on the next episode. 406.204.4687.

– Hey John Pike, this is how it’s done. Bears are a real threat according to Stephen Colbert. Let’s see how you handle yourself up against a real killer. If you want to see more John Pike meme pictures, check out the forums post.

The Hot Box podcast is NOT going down the shit hole. I try to mention all of the podcasts I do on all of the other podcasts I do. Catch the Hot Box marijuana podcast most Friday or Saturday evenings. The next episode as of writing this will be episode 99! We’re giving away something cool for episode 100, so if you enjoy cannabis / marijuana, check it out!

– Lyrickal used to be our Friday guy on the Jamhole. He started on episode ten. If you want to see other people we’ve had on the show, check out the Jamhole guest list at thejamhole.com/people. Episode 375 was the first episode Jake Jarvis was on.

– We’re working on some pretty ground breaking genius shit. You can hear our not so groundbreaking, not so genius older shit over on the Jamhole music page. It’s free, because we couldn’t imagine charging people for this level of genius.

– What do you think about the whole occupy movement Jake? Ok, back to you Mat. So then, how many girlfriends do you think Jake has had since episode 375. Now talk into the microphone you son of a bitch. How many bitches have you fucked? Inquiring minds want to know. He’s so drunk, poor kid.

– Listen as Daulton tells us the story of how he met Jake Jarvis. Nothing special here, except that Daulton’s mother is a party animal. She gives Spuds McKenzie a run for his money.

– Welcome to the Montana Geographic hour. We’ll be discussing all of the small towns my friends grew up in. More people should occupy Libby. I hear there’s a lot of meth there. Other than that, it’s a nice town.

– Who wants to go on a cruise? What if I told you it was an End of the World cruise? Hell yes. Let’s go explore Mayan ruins with the crew from Astronomycast. All of the information can be found here. The itinerary can be found here. Let’s all go on this and make it happen! The cruise is from December 16th through the 23rd.

– Did you know Bob Barker actually makes a lot of the utensils you use in jail. Toothpastes and toothbrushes and all sorts of shit. What a nice guy. Jackpot. Rather than rehabilitate people, we incarcerate people. How is that helping society? Who here has been to jail? Three out of four. Not bad.

– Occupy Jail. When people don’t leave and the city tells them to leave, we just put them in jail. You can never overpopulate the prisons. Never.

– This is what happens when women are pushed to the edge. Sometimes they will strike back, even in the Middle East. She was only oppressed for 32 years. She cooked his body so she could dispose of the evidence… By eating him. Perhaps Jake could tell us how long it takes to eat a dude. Classic.

– Welcome to Dateline. The unemployment rate is still teh suck. Back to you Mat. Raise your hand if you have a job. 4 out of 4, nice. Ethnicity and drive, two things America has no shortage of. Brown people, America’s biggest, greatest resource. Let’s go around the room and see WHAT everyone is doing for work. Let me guess… Professional cage fighter?

– How rude of you to have a phone call during the show. Next time, you WILL put it on speaker phone and you WILL have an on air conversation.

– Let’s pour out a little liquor for our friend Eldon. He died in a puddle of his own puke. That’s what happens when drinking gets taken to the next level. We have lost a lot of good friends to alcohol. We haven’t lost any to marijuana. Weird.

– I cannot take you seriously if you are afraid of a piece of paper with a number on it. Even if that number just so happens to be 666. You silly silly bitch. Hey Jake, tell us what you know about the Mayan calendar. This should be good. But only if you talk into the microphone.

– This is what happens when the deer takes it’s revenge. Either that was one bad ass deer, or one weak ass hunter. Back to you Shaun. We should read more stories this way. I love it. Oh, and the kitty was NOT having a very good time. Ever since Robby, she just hates ALL PEOPLE.

– When you are trying to call up a hooker, make sure you are calling a hooker, and not the police. That could be very awkward.

– When you are in first grade, do you even know what sexual harassment is? No, but I know if you are being a bully, I’m going to punch you IN THE NUTS! Apparently that is sexual harassment.

– Uhh Yeah Dude is doing a live show in Seattle on Friday, January 13th 2012. Wanna go? Let’s talk about it on the forums. Here is a link to get tickets.

– It’s been a pleasure talking with all of you, we’ll see you on Sunday for the Mat and Danni episode of the Jamhole. Until then, hop on the Forums, like the Facebook page, and follow us on Twitter. We also have a Google+ page you should circle. Poke around the site and do some reading, there’s a ton of good stuff on there. We also have a YouTube page with over 200 videos.

– Leave a message at 406.204.4687 or email info@thejamhole.com.

By Finn

Creating dope shit since the chromosome split...

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