Tag Archives: best produced

Ep 257: Best Produced

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“I don’t believe in evidence, I believe in magic and rainbows.”

The world teeters on the brink of complete destruction as we quickly approach a total world population of seven billion people. I feel like this might be a tad too many for our planet to support. The scary thing is, that even though we know we are running out of space, resources, and patience, people still insist on reproducing to an extreme degree. I know that everyone thinks the whole point of life is to have as many children as you possibly can before your dick falls off and your womb dries out, but if we want to really survive the fast approaching complete break down of society as we know it, some changes have to be made. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but maybe it’s time people stop having four, five, and even six kids per family. Maybe just for now, until we figure out where to put all you animals, we try to limit ourselves to one child, two at the maximum. We have made amazing breakthroughs in birth control, so don’t worry, you can still fuck till your little heart is content without giving birth once a year. Please, for the future of the children you all have already brought into this world, and for the rest of us who will live quite happy lives not having any children, stifle your seed. Either wrap it up, or feed that vagina some birth control. Your planet will thank you. If, of course, you decide not to heed my warning, then you can expect more pandemics to run wild in our society. Let’s just call it natures way of auto balancing the load.

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Ep 245: Neosemen

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“You know that cum heals everything right?”

There are many things in life and the reality the media and those in control have created for us that I could really give a fuck less about. A couple of those things are starting up again, as they are seasonal annoyances. The VMA’s being one of them, and football season being another. We discuss quite a few things in tonight’s episode, I just wanted to reiterate how stupid I think this is. I know that somehow, a lot of you think football is such a great sport, passed down to man from the gods themselves. But seriously, you all act like you play the sport yourself, which you do not. You don’t play shit, unless of course you count that stupid fantasy football shit, which only counts in as much as dungeons and dragons counts you being a real dragon slayer. There is absolutely nothing in your life that you do that has any effect, negative or positive, on any football team, past, present, or future. Unless of course, you take all that fantasy money you won playing fantasy football, and you buy yourself a real football team.

For a bunch of adults that have adult jobs and adult responsibilities like raising kids and paying bills, you all act like uneducated cattle. Just because maybe once upon a time you had a dream drilled into your still young, malleable brains, that one day you were going to grow up big and strong and play pro ball, and maybe, instead, grew up lazy and fat and your father watched those dreams of his crumble before his very own eyes like so many cookie crumbs on your shirt, so now you get a raging hard on whenever you see the NFL on television, or hear anyone speak of football, and to this day you still have no idea why. Sure, when I was a kid my friends and I used to play football at recess, and sure, it was a great time. But let me say that again. WHEN I WAS A KID. So basically, if you know me in real life, please refrain from bringing up things like football, and I’ll refrain from giving you my “I honestly don’t give a fuck about anything coming out of your mouth right now” face. Trust me, it’s for the best.

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