Tag Archives: baby

TJH 670: The Depression and the Holocaust

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“You literally are living on each others dicks and balls there.”

It’s the day before my birthday, the leaves are turning and all you ladies are probably trying to figure out which slutty character you’ll dress up as for Halloween this year. All in all things have been great since we last spoke. Barter Faire was amazing, work is going swimmingly, and everything else seems to almost be falling into place. With a little nudging here and there of course. Let’s get down to business. If you want to get me something for my birthday, we have an Amazon baby registry here, so you can just funnel that love towards this little princess of darkness. You can also Wallet me money and hit up the Paypal page here. If none of that sounds good and you use Amazon to buy shit, consider buying that shit through our link! It’s here and on the sidebar menu to the right. Thanks for listening, and now here’s some show notes.

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TJH 667: The First Millenial

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“Fuck your way to a plumper, fuller vagina.”

Mmm, the beginning of August and already a new episode of the Jamhole. Thanks for joining us. We have for you, what I feel like is a pretty damn good episode this evening. There’s some visual stuff, so you might want to check out the live episode you can find at the bottom of these notes. Join the fun interaction on Instagram where you can send us a sexy picture of you holding a sign that says something awesome like I love the Jamhole. Something like that. The Hot Box has been getting mad love from the ladies, so it’s probably time to perk BJ up a little by showing the show a show of love. Other than that be sure we’re friends on Facebook, follow my Twitter, and we’ll talk to you next time we talk to you.

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TJH 666: The Back Seat

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“You do know you’re carrying the spawn of the Dark Lord, right?”

Welcome back to your monthly installment of this quaint little shit show we like to call the Jamhole. Happy episode 666! Thanks for sticking around waiting patiently as we do our best to crank out more shows. In the meantime, there’s now 666 of them to listen to, so that’s a legit number for a minute right? I’m kidding, we’ll be back with more new shows as time permits. Also stick around at the end of the episode for a new track a friend of mine and I are working on.

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TJH 665: In the River

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“My girlfriend has been infected with a parasite.”

Back to check in real quick with a June episode for all the great people of Jamholia. Still living the dream in boomtown. Now that everything is sorted around here we should be able to start bringing you shows more than once a month. There’s going to be a huge reward for all of you who have somehow managed to stick with us during these transitional times. So thanks for listening, and enjoy the show.

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Ep 304: Baby Killing Spree

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“I will make a movie about me, kicking your fucking ass.”

The more I read “God is not Great” by Christopher Hitchens, the more my mind is blown at how people can believe some of the things they believe in. It’s like they stopped caring about what was going on around them five years after they were born, and they haven’t looked back since. He is risen… He is risen indeed! I’ll make you a deal, I’ll start believing in god, but you have to stop using technology. No more cars either. You should probably all just start wearing burkas as well. And blind folds, I wanna see everyone wearing blindfolds. Girls aren’t allowed to vote anymore either, and we get to throw rocks at them if they aren’t virgins. We should all probably go ahead and quit our jobs, that way we can spend more time on our knees, worshiping the deity. AMEN! I’m in… I was at buns on the lake this morning for breakfast with Dana, and there was a table of people who had just gotten done with church. They were joking around about people who go to church, but don’t have faith. They thought it was funny that people would go to church just to be seen as believing in something they do, so they can be part of the super secret magic club. It’s saying, look how quaint these people are, with their wishful thinking and belief in a ghost full of holes. Death and taxes, unless you happen to be a tax exempt religion.

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Ep 302: Business or Pleasure

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“Dana’s in the bathroom right now, and she wants to blow you.”

I was going to write something completely clever and thought provoking here, but I don’t want to spoil the actual episode too much. Plus because of who we had on as a guest, I’m not really allowed to say anything. I know this is a blog of sorts, but you know how these things are. Basically, we’re on a need to know basis, and you simply don’t need to know. Don’t worry, I don’t really need to know either. The first rule of freelance private sector security consulting, is you don’t talk about freelance private sector security consulting. That’s right, not even on a talk show. You especially don’t write about it on a blog either. Just keep quiet, pretend you never saw or heard this, and stay safe. It’s a crazy world out there.

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Ep 298: Menopause

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“You came, and then you walked away.”

I wonder how much money people get paid to be on a show like hoarders. What would your limit be if someone paid you to live like a complete and utter slob? I think for me it would have to be at least 6 to 7 figures, depending on the length of time. You basically put your whole life out there, like judgement day, allowing the masses to see exactly how horrible your life has become. We love it. We love watching how horrible and shitty other peoples lives have gotten. It makes us feel that much better about how sad and pitiful our own lives have become. I intend to do it, therefore I have done it. Poor words to live by. These people suffer from over consumerism. They are doing exactly what the government states is a perfect citizen, only they don’t know when to stop. You took to heart the immortal words from the bumper sticker about having the most stuff when you die. Well guess what, you didn’t win did you? You give jobs to people who’s title is Professional Organizer. In what kind of society do people need to hire a person to organize all their shit? That is very sad to me. When I have too much time to sit and get all inside my head about shit, I tend to get very sad at how the world thinks and acts. I wish everyone would take the time to look at themselves and what they are doing. Because we’re doing it all wrong. I’m very depressed that my life isn’t lived out on Pandora. I am very depressed about the fact that Pandora is so beautiful in it’s complexity, but fake in it’s reality. I have suicidal thoughts sometimes, because I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be Navi.

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Ep 292: A New Year

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“I came here to fuck and do blow, and maybe die.”

Let’s start the year on a positive note, that way after we sober up and realize it’s just the same shit year after year after year, we won’t be so fucking pist that this is how we’re spending our time. Seriously, it’s all the same shit, we just have different ways to spend money. That’s what we’re here for. I am a consumer, and I am good at it. What are you selling, I don’t give a fuck, I’ll take twenty. Can you deliver it to my front door? Even better. I spend my time reading, writing, trying to leave something behind, something that will attempt to stand the test of time. That future generations will find this and read it and listen and say to themselves… Jesus fucking christ. They really fucked up their shit. Happy New Year. No fear two beers with new hair past due.

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Ep 285: Voodoo Doll

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“You couldn’t abort the antichrist.”

Welcome to part four of our series on why shit is all fucked up. In this part our focus will be religion. Say what you will about religion, but as far as being an efficacious way of controlling people, making money, getting people to believe in ridiculous ideas, and amassing large numbers, they are at the top of the scrotum pole. Religion is ruining the world in many ways. As much as I would like to thank them for helping control the population problem by making people kill others and themselves in the name of whatever god they have been brainwashed into believing in, I would just as soon live in a world where religion does not exist. Religion is a parasitic virus that spreads itself via old stale tradition, indoctrinating children before they have a chance to see truth for themselves, giving people a scapegoat to place their responsibility on when they do fucked up stupid shit, and ruining the economy by taking billions upon billions of peoples hard earned money, and not paying any taxes on it. You take and take, and in return you give nothing more than a tired old belief system based on a fictitious character. Thanks religion!

I firmly believe that if the world started over, but this time there was no such thing as religion, we would be thousands of years ahead of where we are now. Think of all the precious knowledge we have lost over the ages due to religion. Think of all the brilliant minds that were put to death because of their beliefs, labeled as heretics and blasphemers. Then again, I’m sure if religion never existed, someone would come along at some point and time and create something else to scam people out of their minds and their money. It’s human nature, which goes back to our greed / money segment. But, if you were to take all these things together, get rid of money and religion at the same time, now you’re starting to fix some shit. Just think about all the hate in the world due to conflicting belief systems. It’s very unnecessary, and all it boils down to is who has the better invisible friend. Give it any other name than religion, and all you have is a bunch of crazy people down on their knees praying to the equally crazy voices in their heads. Don’t you find it mighty convenient that no one has witnessed a miracle since back in the biblical times? It’s appalling at how the country bends over backwards to accommodate such juvenile beliefs. It’s silly to the point of embarrassment.

You’ve all been fooled by the greatest scam this planet has ever seen. If you need proof, look no further than the hypocrisy that is bestowed any die hard religious follower. They preach love, peace and kindness, but are the first ones to cast stones the split second some idea doesn’t jive with their beliefs. In all honesty, don’t you think that if god really did exist, and the devil really did exist, when all these crazy people we read news stories about blame their outlandish behavior on, we don’t let them off? I mean surely it really was the devil telling them to murder and mutilate their families right? Surely it had to be the devil that told them to rape all those children right? Fuck no we don’t, we throw their crazy loony tune asses in jail, because that is completely ludicrous. Isn’t it just as silly that every Sunday they all flock to these multi million dollar buildings to give praise, read about, and pray to that very same deity? Then it’s ok, but as soon as you apply it to real world systems, it becomes complete and utter lunacy.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, if there really was a god out there who wanted us to believe in him, wouldn’t he give each generation a sign? I mean, if we were created in god’s image, then god knows we have rational, logically thinking, information hungry brains, which means he would also know that we are going to be the first to question when someone comes up to us preaching the existence of some higher power, but we have to blindly believe in this higher power without the tiniest sliver of tangible evidence in order to be saved from some type of eternal punishment? Everything our scientific minds have figured out about the world contradicts what the bible states to be final truth. Someone has to be lying here, who are you going to believe? On one side we have science, which has gotten us where we are today, has given us medical breakthrough after breakthrough, can make highly accurate predictions about the physical world we live in, and has given us all of the modern convenience we have become accustomed to, or religion, which has made people hate and kill other people who have conflicting belief systems, gives them a way out when they are ashamed to admit to doing something horrible, has brought down a whole lot of pointless bloodshed and suffering on humanity, the dark ages, and has made scum bags like Pat Robertson and Al Sharpton so popular. The choice is yours, please choose based on what your mind tells you to choose, not what you were scared into believing.

Which brings up my last point in this essay. Any organization that has to scare you into believing what it preaches, is not a good organization to begin with. There is a reason you are afraid you will go to hell if you don’t believe. There is a reason every single commandment starts out with the words “You shall FEAR and love god.” If they weren’t able to scare you into believing, all they would have is a silly children’s fairytale, and as we all know, when we grow up and become adults, we put away our childish things. Including our beliefs in the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, and god. There is no heaven, there is no hell, there is no god, and there is no devil. These are all tools of the trade created to frighten you from the day you are born into believing a flawed system that has no other goal than to influence you in your day to day life, to get you to give them your hard earned money, and to build their numbers, just in case they have to start another holy war like they did back in the middle ages. The crusades was the equivalent of our modern day troops fighting a war with the Canadians because the Canadians don’t believe that Santa Claus really is the one who comes down the chimney on christmas eve to deliver presents to everyone. Sounds silly doesn’t it? That’s what your belief system sounds like to any rational, logically thinking person.

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Ep 284: Biological Clocks

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“You’re more of a dyke than I am a fag.”

This will be the next part continuing our why shit is all fucked up series. I’m going to go ahead and say that the show notes from last friday is part two, because I firmly believe that the people represented by the kids in jersey shores are definitely part of the problem we are facing today. So this part will be focused on greed and money. As a little recap, we’ve already covered underage pregnancy / overpopulation, and douche bags (guidos). I am a firm believer in the idea that as soon as the whole focus of life became “get as much as you can and fuck everyone else” shit started going downhill, and fast. I’m not exactly sure when that began, probably around the same time pronouns were invented. This idea comes from an old Terrence Mckenna lecture. As soon as objects were given ownership; as in no longer is this just a tool, but now this is my tool, or your tool, his tool, or her tool; that is when the problem began. Rather than everyone working together for a common goal, helping each other out along the way, working together to make things better, we are in a constant battle with everyone not related to us to get more stuff than they have. This seems very silly to me. I mean obviously you can’t take all your useless crap with you when you die. I guess you could leave it to your kids, but chances are, they are going to end up throwing it away anyways. Once that happens, your whole life has just been wasted. What we should be doing is working together to make the place we live better than it was when we got here. It would be nice if the generation before us left us a world they were proud of, rather than giving us a world full of problems they created, and the generation before them, and so on. The problem is, we have this whole economical system coupled with the bombardment of advertisements 24 / 7 hitting us in all our senses, all the time, making us think we need what they are selling. If you think about it, money isn’t shit. It’s a piece of paper that, once upon a time, kind of meant something. Once upon a time it actually represented an amount of precious metals. Now a days it doesn’t represent shit. The government is in debt, the people are in debt. But all that debt is just a computer generated number. It doesn’t mean anything in the great scheme of things. It’s a way of keeping us busy, slaving away our whole lives to get just enough to survive, meanwhile, those in charge are having a blast while at the same time completely fucking up society, the planet, and all those who live here. Greed is the motivating force to get most of the lazy humans off their big fat asses, and out the door to work in some form or another. This is why communism will never work, and why I believe, Americans hate communism. They are too lazy for it. If you think about it, communism is a great idea, assuming the people control it, not a dictator. If you think slavery is dead, think again. We are all wasting our lives to make their lives better. Why do we do it? Because we need money. Why do we need money? Because that is the system we live in. I really think that if we all worked together for a common goal, instead of against each other for our own selfish causes, we would be in a lot better shape than we are now. I also believe we would be vastly more evolved than we are now. We may never see our full capabilities realized, because we will kill each other and ourselves way before that happens.

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