Tag Archives: kalispell

TJH 628: Duck Dynasty Action Figures

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“Oregon has drugs there, why are you huffing duster?”

A day late and a dollar short, but that’s just how it goes sometimes here in Jamholia. Back with another episode of this shit. What a fucking week. I hope to never deal with a week like that again, but you know I’ll have to. It’s inevitable in this line of work. At least it’s Christmas right? Well almost. This is probably the last show of 2013. We’re moving next week, then I’ll be in Vegas for CES. Keep in touch with us through Google+, Facebook, and Twitter, and we’ll see you on the flip side. Here’s some notes.

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Dodgeball Game 1

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Well, here it is, a sport like no other. Dodgeball used to be my favorite gym class game back in grade school. Back then it was called Warball, but that makes sense considering it was a Lutheran school I went to. Everything is war with these people. Anyways, the Flathead Dodgeball Association has started a pretty damn cool thing here in the valley, and we’re going to try and make films of each game Tyler and myself play in. Mcnally did another amazing job editing footage we send him, so if you have a minute, check out keithcourage.com and show him some love. Mcnally, you do good work sir. This video was filmed by Danni on Tuesday, February 9th 2010, and you can thank her for the hot sexy close ups of chicks in little shorts bending over. I did. I forget what the score ended up being, but our team did win, so that’s pretty cool. We’re going to try and make a series out of this, so you can see us play each game in the season. We’ll see how that works out. After this, they might not let us film anymore… Just kidding, we will always film.  🙂 So enjoy this on the go with your mobile media device, or click the more link and check it out on youtube. Remember to rate the videos, you know, for fun.

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Ep 293: No Call No Show

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“I will cry if I have to.”

Well, we expected to start the new year off positively, but from the sounds of all the news that’s been coming in, we have once again failed. Maybe people have a different idea of what positive means. Maybe some people think killing, raping, and acting like idiots is being positive, I do not know. On the other hand, I am glad that there is ridiculous shit like this happening all the time, even when starting with a clean slate. I was almost worried that people were going to turn their lives around for the next decade. I was running thoughts around my head of what we would do for The Jamhole in the event the news stories stopped being so completely awesome. But then, to my surprise, when I went to find stories for this episode, I saw that nothing has changed but the date. Everything is exactly how it was ending 2009. Why should anything change? Fuck it, we have a black president, that should be enough change for the next few decades. So to all you people running around cutting heads off kittens and raping their children, I would like to personally thank you. Thank you for doing retarded shit for us to make fun of. Without all the shitty humans in the world doing shitty human things, The Jamhole wouldn’t be near as fun for me.

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Ep 291: Operation Stop and Think

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“I remember my mom and dad having this same arguement when I was 5.”

Another year, another decade in the history books. Although your children won’t read about it until the next decade, because the history books they have in school are that out dated. Maybe in the great year 2010, we’ll figure out how to solve that awful problem. Anyways, I would like to thank everyone for being with us for this past year of shows. 2009 was the first complete year we’ve been doing shows. The Jamhole has gone through a lot of changes since we started this thing, any of you who join us for the rediscoveries can attest to that. Here’s a little geek info for any of you die hard fans. It’s all stuff you could have figured out on your own, but I did it for you.

  • In 2009 we produced 160 episodes. That amounts to roughly 275 hours 13 minutes and 49 seconds of us sitting here talking. That kind of blows my mind when I think about it. That’s a lot of words said.

We’ve seen a lot of fucked up shit happen while doing this show, and we’ve done our best to tell you about it, in a way that makes you laugh at things you shouldn’t. We look forward to serving up hot fresh steamy jamhole eps every monday, wednesday, and friday for many years to come. Thanks for all of your support. This show wouldn’t be half as fun to do without all of you out there listening, interacting, and straight up just being fucking awesome. Thanks!

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Ep 290: Grammar, Penis, and Pussy

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“I don’t need to hear you, I just need to see those titties.”

On account of my rather lengthy essay on Christmas and why religion sucks in general on the show notes for episode 289, I’m going to keep this brief. I’m sure most of you didn’t read that anyways, so when you read this and see that I am not really writing anything, you can go back and read that. All I really wanted to say is Wednesday will be the last Jamhole episode of 2009, and of the decade. What can you look forward to from us this next decade? A shitload of episodes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, lots of laughs, videos, live audience shows, hip hop albums, and overall awesomeness you’ve come to expect from us. I’m very excited to see where Moore’s law takes us technologically in the upcoming decade. Please, can you do me a huge favor? Don’t call it the aughts whatever you do. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If you do decide to call it the aughts, I would seriously consider firing whoever came up with that name, because they were clearly fucking with you. In closing, I would just like to thank all of you who have donated your money, time, and support to us. You guys are what keeps this show going. We really do appreciate it. Keep telling your friends about The Jamhole, keep donating, keep rating and subscribing to us on Itunes, not only on your computer, but all of your friends computers as well. Keep participating in the forums and the comments on the show notes. Please, if you are new, and you just want to say hi, send an email to info@thejamhole.com and let us know you’re out there listening, and you enjoy what we’re doing here. Thank you, and we’ll see you Wednesday.

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Ep 289: The Christmas Cheer

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“I mowed down a tree because it was pissing me off.”

The presents have all been opened, the carefully cut and taped wrapping paper that once hid the anticipation and surprise from the unsuspecting eyes of those who would be the recipients, now lays in heaping crumpled mounds inside our trash cans, awaiting their final trip to once again become one with the ground. The ground will barely recognize the wrapping paper. What was once a life giving tree, roots firmly planted in the dirt, along with it’s companions, holding the planet together, is now a colorfully unrecognizable, clinquant, chemically treated mess, one second treated with the utmost care, looked at with adoring eyes, the next ripped to shreds and discarded without a second thought.  Festive alcoholic drinks and copious amounts of food consumed ad nauseum. It’s a holiday celebration after all, and that means we gorge ourselves past the point of complete satisfaction, until our already oversized stomachs seemingly burst at the seams, our arteries becoming clogged like a rush hour traffic jam, our hearts no longer able to get the oxygen rich blood to the organs that need it most, causing our already ridiculous health insurance rates to get even higher.

We are a fast living, high risk, unhealthy, apathetic society, and for that, we will pay the ultimate price. The credit cards we depend on to live the life we want, the life we think we deserve, rather than the life we can actually afford, the life that has been created by all the tiny insignificant choices we have made thus far, have all been swiped and taken to their limits, giving us another reason to work shitty awful jobs, wasting our lives away to make a better standard of living for someone else. That’s right, another christmas comes and goes for the inhabitants of this wonderful world we live in. I love how most of us cherish this holiday with all our hearts and minds, with our very soul. This silly day that was started by those in charge (the church), way back in about the 4th century, for one reason, or set of beliefs, but throughout the millenia, is now celebrated with a completely different meaning. I mean of course, the christians will always consider it their flagship holiday, the celebration of their lord and savoir’s birthday. But to the rest of the world who doesn’t believe in that, its just another day you gave special meaning to because of something that happened way before any of us, or our ancestors, were alive to remember. For all we know, it never happened, or at least not the way they tell you it did. You see, the christians have a bad habit of taking bits and pieces of all the other, much older religions of the world, and making it their own. I mean fuck, at least L. Ron Hubbard had the inspiration and the drive to come up with something totally original for his silly little belief system people now call a religion.

What you all believe in as modern day Christianity, is really just a large washed out conglomerate of the very early religions. Of course, the names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent of course, but once you get past the new design theme template, its the same old boring stuff made up to explain things we didn’t understand. We don’t call them “gods” now, we call it science. Although, if science had the same drama and pizzaz that the greek gods had, we’d all be just fine. Why do we have such great science, that we can describe with great accuracy the processes that make up the world we live in? How can we explain now what was once explained then with the use of personified gods? Because we have rational thinking minds capable of thinking very brilliant, bewildering ideas, and the longer we’re on the planet for, the more we will evolve these minds into thinking and creating great ideas. Now, who gave us a mind that works like this in the first place? Some say we’ve evolved from lower forms of it, some say it’s god. All I know is that the science for evolutionary theory is pretty sound, and is being pioneered by some of the most brilliant minds ever to ponder their own existence origins, and most of you would agree with that.

But, even with our modern day technology and sensitive measuring instruments, we can only go back so far. I firmly believe the longer we are allowed to evolve and grow on this planet, that one day we will get to the point where we figure out exactly how everything came into existence. I also believe that if we just say that god put us here, and end it at that, we would never have gotten out of the caves. I’m also very afraid that if things keep going the way they are going, we will never have a chance to see that. So help me if you fuck this up for the rest of us, and we don’t get answers to philosophy’s great questions, or at least get some cool Ray Kurzweil technological advancements happening, before you all destroy the world, I am going to find you and seriously fuck  up the afterlife you believe is there. I’ve been baptized and confirmed motherfuckers, don’t fuck with me. If god ends up really existing, I’m going to heaven, and don’t think I won’t remember who helped the world along down the path of global suicide it seems so eager to follow. Do not fuck this up for the rest of us just because you are a greedy, power hungry son of a bitch. If you end up in heaven and I see you, and it’s your fault the world ended before I got to really see some cool shit, I am eternally fucking your shit up!

So what would it take to create a mind that was aware it was created? Then the mind will try to figure out where it came from. That seems to be a running theme with being self aware. Unless you created the mind so it was unable to figure out where it came from, or incapable, or indifferent to the matter. Like if you used a plus 5 Wool Over Eyes spell or something. But if that were the case, then something would have had to create it that way. Something had to be there to cast the spell. You would say that god (insert your deity here) created it. The fact that we have a mind that allows us, and encourages us to figure out out how our reality works and why it works the way it does. The very idea that we can ponder our existence, and our origins, tells me that we were not created by a god. Unless that god wanted us to eventually find him one day, he would not have given us the ability to do so. I’m not sure how we got to self aware mind from talking about christmas, but anyways, to bring it back to the reason for the season…

I also find it weird and suspect, that Jesus has the only birthday in the history of human beings in which we give each other presents, rather than the person who was “born.” How pist would you be if on your birthday, everyone gave each other gifts instead of you? Especially if you died for their sins! I mean seriously, how ungrateful can you possibly get? If your still reading this, you must be as high as I am, so now, on to the notes…

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Ep 287: Naggers

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“I want everything to be awesome, I wanna try ecstasy.”

First of all, I would like to apologize for getting thrown off my game during this episode. It’s hard to concentrate on what I’m trying to say when we have little jack fuck pud pounders in the chat spamming the word “Naggers” over and over again. Feel free to drop by his profile and leave him a comment. He may be able to get away with that kind of shit with some of these other shows, but this is the jamhole, and we have people that are bad asses when it comes to dealing with this kind of shit. I understand we talk a lot of shit, and sometimes, some of that shit is going to get blown back in our faces. I also understand that we do our shows on ustream, and second to youtube, there is a lot of bored kids just looking to mess with random people. What he doesn’t know is that I have his IP address now, (208.67.216.132) and we can mess with him a lot more than he messed with us. I’m just a little sad kittens that because of this, I didn’t really get to say what I wanted to say, and the show sounded rough. I guess I have to keep in mind that after doing over 280 episodes, not all of them are going to be brilliant. That’s my OCD for you. Anyways, last nights show just felt off to me. On top of the spammer, then Ustream disconnects on us right when things got back on track. Few things in this world annoy me more than when I’m trying to do a show, and the technology we use has problems. I guess it was due time. We’ve had a great run on Ustream, and it’s been a while since it really fucked us like that. Nothing is perfect in this online world we live in, I just need to learn to accept it, deal with it, and move on. By the way, I’ve started recording our live shows on ustream again, so if you missed it, you can go back and check the archives of the main camera. Good stuff.

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Ep 286: Baby Shit Myself

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“I just gave birth to the newest cat toy.”

It’s very late on a Sunday night, so I’m going to keep this brief. We watched the movie Avatar today, and I have to say, this being my first 3D movie, I was very blown away by how beautiful it looked. Then again, if I spent around five hundred million dollars making a movie, I would hope that it looked amazing. I’m talking nothing short of the second coming of jesus fucking christ mind blowing here. In all honesty, it would have been nice to see an original idea, but who are we kidding anymore? We are to the point where we have pretty well exhausted all ideas ever. Unless you are sitting around doing massive amounts of DMT or mushrooms, or LSD, chances are, you aren’t going to come up with anything original. It is cool to see modern age takes on old ideas, especially with how far we’ve come with our technology. I was kind of pist that we had to sit in the second row back from the front, especially once the front row started to fill up with swine flu coughing, screaming, talking, annoying, smelly fucking kids. Oh well, you can’t win them all. If you could, life wouldn’t be near as fun or interesting. I have to say, in closing, a friend of mine on twitter had it right when he said it’s just a bunch of over grown smurfs. Minus the mushroom houses, and the stupid white hats. Plus, the female blue monkeys were really fucking hot. Was I the only one in the theater who kept trying to catch a glimpse of their blue titties and vaginal area? Of course not. You know you all were looking.

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Ep 285: Voodoo Doll

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“You couldn’t abort the antichrist.”

Welcome to part four of our series on why shit is all fucked up. In this part our focus will be religion. Say what you will about religion, but as far as being an efficacious way of controlling people, making money, getting people to believe in ridiculous ideas, and amassing large numbers, they are at the top of the scrotum pole. Religion is ruining the world in many ways. As much as I would like to thank them for helping control the population problem by making people kill others and themselves in the name of whatever god they have been brainwashed into believing in, I would just as soon live in a world where religion does not exist. Religion is a parasitic virus that spreads itself via old stale tradition, indoctrinating children before they have a chance to see truth for themselves, giving people a scapegoat to place their responsibility on when they do fucked up stupid shit, and ruining the economy by taking billions upon billions of peoples hard earned money, and not paying any taxes on it. You take and take, and in return you give nothing more than a tired old belief system based on a fictitious character. Thanks religion!

I firmly believe that if the world started over, but this time there was no such thing as religion, we would be thousands of years ahead of where we are now. Think of all the precious knowledge we have lost over the ages due to religion. Think of all the brilliant minds that were put to death because of their beliefs, labeled as heretics and blasphemers. Then again, I’m sure if religion never existed, someone would come along at some point and time and create something else to scam people out of their minds and their money. It’s human nature, which goes back to our greed / money segment. But, if you were to take all these things together, get rid of money and religion at the same time, now you’re starting to fix some shit. Just think about all the hate in the world due to conflicting belief systems. It’s very unnecessary, and all it boils down to is who has the better invisible friend. Give it any other name than religion, and all you have is a bunch of crazy people down on their knees praying to the equally crazy voices in their heads. Don’t you find it mighty convenient that no one has witnessed a miracle since back in the biblical times? It’s appalling at how the country bends over backwards to accommodate such juvenile beliefs. It’s silly to the point of embarrassment.

You’ve all been fooled by the greatest scam this planet has ever seen. If you need proof, look no further than the hypocrisy that is bestowed any die hard religious follower. They preach love, peace and kindness, but are the first ones to cast stones the split second some idea doesn’t jive with their beliefs. In all honesty, don’t you think that if god really did exist, and the devil really did exist, when all these crazy people we read news stories about blame their outlandish behavior on, we don’t let them off? I mean surely it really was the devil telling them to murder and mutilate their families right? Surely it had to be the devil that told them to rape all those children right? Fuck no we don’t, we throw their crazy loony tune asses in jail, because that is completely ludicrous. Isn’t it just as silly that every Sunday they all flock to these multi million dollar buildings to give praise, read about, and pray to that very same deity? Then it’s ok, but as soon as you apply it to real world systems, it becomes complete and utter lunacy.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, if there really was a god out there who wanted us to believe in him, wouldn’t he give each generation a sign? I mean, if we were created in god’s image, then god knows we have rational, logically thinking, information hungry brains, which means he would also know that we are going to be the first to question when someone comes up to us preaching the existence of some higher power, but we have to blindly believe in this higher power without the tiniest sliver of tangible evidence in order to be saved from some type of eternal punishment? Everything our scientific minds have figured out about the world contradicts what the bible states to be final truth. Someone has to be lying here, who are you going to believe? On one side we have science, which has gotten us where we are today, has given us medical breakthrough after breakthrough, can make highly accurate predictions about the physical world we live in, and has given us all of the modern convenience we have become accustomed to, or religion, which has made people hate and kill other people who have conflicting belief systems, gives them a way out when they are ashamed to admit to doing something horrible, has brought down a whole lot of pointless bloodshed and suffering on humanity, the dark ages, and has made scum bags like Pat Robertson and Al Sharpton so popular. The choice is yours, please choose based on what your mind tells you to choose, not what you were scared into believing.

Which brings up my last point in this essay. Any organization that has to scare you into believing what it preaches, is not a good organization to begin with. There is a reason you are afraid you will go to hell if you don’t believe. There is a reason every single commandment starts out with the words “You shall FEAR and love god.” If they weren’t able to scare you into believing, all they would have is a silly children’s fairytale, and as we all know, when we grow up and become adults, we put away our childish things. Including our beliefs in the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, and god. There is no heaven, there is no hell, there is no god, and there is no devil. These are all tools of the trade created to frighten you from the day you are born into believing a flawed system that has no other goal than to influence you in your day to day life, to get you to give them your hard earned money, and to build their numbers, just in case they have to start another holy war like they did back in the middle ages. The crusades was the equivalent of our modern day troops fighting a war with the Canadians because the Canadians don’t believe that Santa Claus really is the one who comes down the chimney on christmas eve to deliver presents to everyone. Sounds silly doesn’t it? That’s what your belief system sounds like to any rational, logically thinking person.

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Ep 283: The Chosen People

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“Nothing I like more than huffing nail polish fumes and listening to the 700 club.”

So I finally caught the first three episodes of this new phenomenon sweeping our nation called Jersey Shores. My first thought upon watching this Mtv amtrak trainwreck was holy fucking shit, are these people for real? I guess living in Montana for so long, I’ve been lucky enough to shelter myself from large cities where you might find these kinds of people. When I say people, trust me, I use the term in the loosest fashion. Now I have a couple of things here I want to say about this. First of all, I’m blown away that people like this actually exist, and have been able to survive on this planet long enough to actually become old enough to fuck chicks, thus in turn keeping the guido bloodline alive and well. It just goes to show you that in order to survive in our new modern age of convenience, you don’t need any rational thought whatsoever. Survival of the fittest has turned into survival of, I don’t even know what the fuck to call it.  All it takes is money, and these retards just so happen to be lucky enough to be born into families that seem to have money taken care of. It’s kind of like a lottery of sorts. The second thing I wanted to say about Jersey Shores is this. Does Mtv know people are watching this show solely to make fun of it? I mean, I understand that regardless of the reason behind why people watch, all that matters is that they are watching it, but could there possibly be people out there that watch this show because they are truly interested in this whole guido / guidette lifestyle? The simple fact that my spell check doesn’t understand these two words, and underlines them with the little red squiggly, makes me think that it’s just a stupid made up thing that will hopefully, go away with time. My main concern is that this doesn’t turn into another 8 mile problem. If you aren’t aware of the 8 mile effect, let me break it down for you real quick. When the movie 8 mile came out, it created with it a whole subset genre of kids who all of the sudden thought they could rap, and it flooded myspace and youtube with a shit ton of these untalented retards all trying to make it in the hip hop game. I really hope that Jersey Shores doesn’t create a subset culture of kids who think its cool to act like these gelled hair guido douche bags. Please, I like to think that kids have more sense than this, but history says otherwise. It’s things like this that make me think the whole 2012 thing might not be that far off. Don’t get me wrong, the world isn’t going to end because of a polar shift due to planetary alignment or anything silly like that, but it might end because of how many retards are running around fucking shit up. We are vastly approaching the point of no return, I only hope people can pull their heads out of their asses in time to see it.

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