Tag Archives: danni - Page 2

Ep 300: And Still Shit

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“Do you remember when we got ripped off for buying weed, twice?”

Three hundred episodes in the can, almost two years of doing the jamhole and we’re still going strong. Just make sure you don’t measure how strong we are going by the sound of this episodes Kaboom. Let me give you a little inside insight. For the last forty to fifty episodes, people in the live chat have been asking for Danni to do the Kaboom. Then finally last night, I was going to let her do it. Then we get the idea that rather than Danni herself doing the Kaboom, everyone should do it. Everyone includes Danni, Chris, Odie, and Brayden. So I’m like sure, that sounds good. I sit back as the intro plays, intent on letting everyone else do the Kaboom. What happens after the backspin? Absolute silence. Along with achieving three hundred episode spartan status, I believe we also have one of the jamhole’s most awkward silences ever. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did. It has been an honor bringing you all over five hundred hours of jamhole goodness. Thank you all for helping us grow this show into what it has become, and we look forward to bringing you at least three hundred more episodes. Keep supporting the show, spreading the word, interacting, and staying sexy, and we’ll keep making fun of stuff, and talking shit.

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Ep 293: No Call No Show

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“I will cry if I have to.”

Well, we expected to start the new year off positively, but from the sounds of all the news that’s been coming in, we have once again failed. Maybe people have a different idea of what positive means. Maybe some people think killing, raping, and acting like idiots is being positive, I do not know. On the other hand, I am glad that there is ridiculous shit like this happening all the time, even when starting with a clean slate. I was almost worried that people were going to turn their lives around for the next decade. I was running thoughts around my head of what we would do for The Jamhole in the event the news stories stopped being so completely awesome. But then, to my surprise, when I went to find stories for this episode, I saw that nothing has changed but the date. Everything is exactly how it was ending 2009. Why should anything change? Fuck it, we have a black president, that should be enough change for the next few decades. So to all you people running around cutting heads off kittens and raping their children, I would like to personally thank you. Thank you for doing retarded shit for us to make fun of. Without all the shitty humans in the world doing shitty human things, The Jamhole wouldn’t be near as fun for me.

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Ep 292: A New Year

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“I came here to fuck and do blow, and maybe die.”

Let’s start the year on a positive note, that way after we sober up and realize it’s just the same shit year after year after year, we won’t be so fucking pist that this is how we’re spending our time. Seriously, it’s all the same shit, we just have different ways to spend money. That’s what we’re here for. I am a consumer, and I am good at it. What are you selling, I don’t give a fuck, I’ll take twenty. Can you deliver it to my front door? Even better. I spend my time reading, writing, trying to leave something behind, something that will attempt to stand the test of time. That future generations will find this and read it and listen and say to themselves… Jesus fucking christ. They really fucked up their shit. Happy New Year. No fear two beers with new hair past due.

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Ep 291: Operation Stop and Think

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“I remember my mom and dad having this same arguement when I was 5.”

Another year, another decade in the history books. Although your children won’t read about it until the next decade, because the history books they have in school are that out dated. Maybe in the great year 2010, we’ll figure out how to solve that awful problem. Anyways, I would like to thank everyone for being with us for this past year of shows. 2009 was the first complete year we’ve been doing shows. The Jamhole has gone through a lot of changes since we started this thing, any of you who join us for the rediscoveries can attest to that. Here’s a little geek info for any of you die hard fans. It’s all stuff you could have figured out on your own, but I did it for you.

  • In 2009 we produced 160 episodes. That amounts to roughly 275 hours 13 minutes and 49 seconds of us sitting here talking. That kind of blows my mind when I think about it. That’s a lot of words said.

We’ve seen a lot of fucked up shit happen while doing this show, and we’ve done our best to tell you about it, in a way that makes you laugh at things you shouldn’t. We look forward to serving up hot fresh steamy jamhole eps every monday, wednesday, and friday for many years to come. Thanks for all of your support. This show wouldn’t be half as fun to do without all of you out there listening, interacting, and straight up just being fucking awesome. Thanks!

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Ep 290: Grammar, Penis, and Pussy

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“I don’t need to hear you, I just need to see those titties.”

On account of my rather lengthy essay on Christmas and why religion sucks in general on the show notes for episode 289, I’m going to keep this brief. I’m sure most of you didn’t read that anyways, so when you read this and see that I am not really writing anything, you can go back and read that. All I really wanted to say is Wednesday will be the last Jamhole episode of 2009, and of the decade. What can you look forward to from us this next decade? A shitload of episodes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, lots of laughs, videos, live audience shows, hip hop albums, and overall awesomeness you’ve come to expect from us. I’m very excited to see where Moore’s law takes us technologically in the upcoming decade. Please, can you do me a huge favor? Don’t call it the aughts whatever you do. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If you do decide to call it the aughts, I would seriously consider firing whoever came up with that name, because they were clearly fucking with you. In closing, I would just like to thank all of you who have donated your money, time, and support to us. You guys are what keeps this show going. We really do appreciate it. Keep telling your friends about The Jamhole, keep donating, keep rating and subscribing to us on Itunes, not only on your computer, but all of your friends computers as well. Keep participating in the forums and the comments on the show notes. Please, if you are new, and you just want to say hi, send an email to info@thejamhole.com and let us know you’re out there listening, and you enjoy what we’re doing here. Thank you, and we’ll see you Wednesday.

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Ep 289: The Christmas Cheer

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“I mowed down a tree because it was pissing me off.”

The presents have all been opened, the carefully cut and taped wrapping paper that once hid the anticipation and surprise from the unsuspecting eyes of those who would be the recipients, now lays in heaping crumpled mounds inside our trash cans, awaiting their final trip to once again become one with the ground. The ground will barely recognize the wrapping paper. What was once a life giving tree, roots firmly planted in the dirt, along with it’s companions, holding the planet together, is now a colorfully unrecognizable, clinquant, chemically treated mess, one second treated with the utmost care, looked at with adoring eyes, the next ripped to shreds and discarded without a second thought.  Festive alcoholic drinks and copious amounts of food consumed ad nauseum. It’s a holiday celebration after all, and that means we gorge ourselves past the point of complete satisfaction, until our already oversized stomachs seemingly burst at the seams, our arteries becoming clogged like a rush hour traffic jam, our hearts no longer able to get the oxygen rich blood to the organs that need it most, causing our already ridiculous health insurance rates to get even higher.

We are a fast living, high risk, unhealthy, apathetic society, and for that, we will pay the ultimate price. The credit cards we depend on to live the life we want, the life we think we deserve, rather than the life we can actually afford, the life that has been created by all the tiny insignificant choices we have made thus far, have all been swiped and taken to their limits, giving us another reason to work shitty awful jobs, wasting our lives away to make a better standard of living for someone else. That’s right, another christmas comes and goes for the inhabitants of this wonderful world we live in. I love how most of us cherish this holiday with all our hearts and minds, with our very soul. This silly day that was started by those in charge (the church), way back in about the 4th century, for one reason, or set of beliefs, but throughout the millenia, is now celebrated with a completely different meaning. I mean of course, the christians will always consider it their flagship holiday, the celebration of their lord and savoir’s birthday. But to the rest of the world who doesn’t believe in that, its just another day you gave special meaning to because of something that happened way before any of us, or our ancestors, were alive to remember. For all we know, it never happened, or at least not the way they tell you it did. You see, the christians have a bad habit of taking bits and pieces of all the other, much older religions of the world, and making it their own. I mean fuck, at least L. Ron Hubbard had the inspiration and the drive to come up with something totally original for his silly little belief system people now call a religion.

What you all believe in as modern day Christianity, is really just a large washed out conglomerate of the very early religions. Of course, the names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent of course, but once you get past the new design theme template, its the same old boring stuff made up to explain things we didn’t understand. We don’t call them “gods” now, we call it science. Although, if science had the same drama and pizzaz that the greek gods had, we’d all be just fine. Why do we have such great science, that we can describe with great accuracy the processes that make up the world we live in? How can we explain now what was once explained then with the use of personified gods? Because we have rational thinking minds capable of thinking very brilliant, bewildering ideas, and the longer we’re on the planet for, the more we will evolve these minds into thinking and creating great ideas. Now, who gave us a mind that works like this in the first place? Some say we’ve evolved from lower forms of it, some say it’s god. All I know is that the science for evolutionary theory is pretty sound, and is being pioneered by some of the most brilliant minds ever to ponder their own existence origins, and most of you would agree with that.

But, even with our modern day technology and sensitive measuring instruments, we can only go back so far. I firmly believe the longer we are allowed to evolve and grow on this planet, that one day we will get to the point where we figure out exactly how everything came into existence. I also believe that if we just say that god put us here, and end it at that, we would never have gotten out of the caves. I’m also very afraid that if things keep going the way they are going, we will never have a chance to see that. So help me if you fuck this up for the rest of us, and we don’t get answers to philosophy’s great questions, or at least get some cool Ray Kurzweil technological advancements happening, before you all destroy the world, I am going to find you and seriously fuck  up the afterlife you believe is there. I’ve been baptized and confirmed motherfuckers, don’t fuck with me. If god ends up really existing, I’m going to heaven, and don’t think I won’t remember who helped the world along down the path of global suicide it seems so eager to follow. Do not fuck this up for the rest of us just because you are a greedy, power hungry son of a bitch. If you end up in heaven and I see you, and it’s your fault the world ended before I got to really see some cool shit, I am eternally fucking your shit up!

So what would it take to create a mind that was aware it was created? Then the mind will try to figure out where it came from. That seems to be a running theme with being self aware. Unless you created the mind so it was unable to figure out where it came from, or incapable, or indifferent to the matter. Like if you used a plus 5 Wool Over Eyes spell or something. But if that were the case, then something would have had to create it that way. Something had to be there to cast the spell. You would say that god (insert your deity here) created it. The fact that we have a mind that allows us, and encourages us to figure out out how our reality works and why it works the way it does. The very idea that we can ponder our existence, and our origins, tells me that we were not created by a god. Unless that god wanted us to eventually find him one day, he would not have given us the ability to do so. I’m not sure how we got to self aware mind from talking about christmas, but anyways, to bring it back to the reason for the season…

I also find it weird and suspect, that Jesus has the only birthday in the history of human beings in which we give each other presents, rather than the person who was “born.” How pist would you be if on your birthday, everyone gave each other gifts instead of you? Especially if you died for their sins! I mean seriously, how ungrateful can you possibly get? If your still reading this, you must be as high as I am, so now, on to the notes…

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