Tag Archives: keithcourage.com

Ep 275: Sticky Stuff

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“I don’t want to feel any scruff on my balls.”

The world is going to end December 21st, 2012, or so I’ve been told… What’s really funny is there are people out there who actually believe this crap. I was listening to the SGU (Skeptics Guide to the Universe) recently and someone they were interviewing mentioned something about setting up a website for all of the people who believe the world is going to end on 2012 to donate all of their worldly possessions. His theory is that if the world is going to end in a couple years, those believers aren’t going to need their belongings. Why not give it to someone else to worry about. I think this is a fantastic idea. So if we have any believers in the whole world is going to end in 2012 thing, I would like to open up The Jamhole as a receiver of your stuff. Whatever you own, go ahead and send it to The Jamhole’s PO box. We will gladly take the burden of your worldly possessions off of you, and carry it on our broad shoulders. I’m sure you have lots of other things to worry about, with the whole world coming to a swift and abrupt end and all. So get your affairs in order. Make your peace, and send us all your stuff. Preferably in the form of cash money. But hey, we’re not picky.

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Ep 257: Best Produced

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“I don’t believe in evidence, I believe in magic and rainbows.”

The world teeters on the brink of complete destruction as we quickly approach a total world population of seven billion people. I feel like this might be a tad too many for our planet to support. The scary thing is, that even though we know we are running out of space, resources, and patience, people still insist on reproducing to an extreme degree. I know that everyone thinks the whole point of life is to have as many children as you possibly can before your dick falls off and your womb dries out, but if we want to really survive the fast approaching complete break down of society as we know it, some changes have to be made. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but maybe it’s time people stop having four, five, and even six kids per family. Maybe just for now, until we figure out where to put all you animals, we try to limit ourselves to one child, two at the maximum. We have made amazing breakthroughs in birth control, so don’t worry, you can still fuck till your little heart is content without giving birth once a year. Please, for the future of the children you all have already brought into this world, and for the rest of us who will live quite happy lives not having any children, stifle your seed. Either wrap it up, or feed that vagina some birth control. Your planet will thank you. If, of course, you decide not to heed my warning, then you can expect more pandemics to run wild in our society. Let’s just call it natures way of auto balancing the load.

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Ep 254: Dead Churches

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“My dildo is porn, your dildo is a dildo.”

Dead churches make up the majority of middle to larger sized towns, and we all know what’s inside dead churches. Dead people. Actually not dead in the sense the heartbeat stops and we bury you in the ground (or cremate you and put you in a little urn if you care about not wasting land for ridiculous¬†cemeteries). I’m talking about dead in the sense the life you live might be ok, but when you die, if you are aware for any part of it, you will be so pist off that everything you believed in the whole seventy to eighty years you’ve lived, has been complete and utter bullshit. I think all of these “dead churches” would serve more purpose being converted into homeless shelters, or better yet, laser tag facilities. Fuck people, I would love to own a huge church structure where we live and record The Jamhole, and have wicked awesome party super parties in! Whatever happened to humble thyself before god? Oh right, I forgot, when you’re religious like that, you get to pick and choose what you do and do not follow, making me give even a ¬†fuck less about your bullshit belief system. It basically boils down to this. You are completely fucking up our society and the very planet we live on. Knock it the fuck off. Thank you…

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